November 27, 2017:
I met a guy. Oh my Gosh. He’s the cutest person ever. He called me, four times, from work. Can you imagine? A man that actually calls? I’m over the moon. If this is what falling for someone feels like, boy oh boy, I’m going in headfirst. Screw the protective gear.
November 29, 2017:
He doesn’t party. Oh wow. Just how cool is that? More time for me! He actually stayed home all night. And we talked till three in the morning. I love his nose. It’s so perfect. And his eyes when he smiles. I love it all.
December 5, 2017:
He hasn’t called me all day. Or texted. I’ll wait.
Update: HE CALLED! He was just busy at work. He said I was beautiful.
December 8, 2017:
He’s been missing. Since morning. I don’t want to call him anymore. It’s scary. Maybe I’ll just wait till Monday. Maybe I’m being too clingy. But it’s kind of weird when he says he wants to get married and then goes AWOL.
DECEMBER 31, 2017:
Happy new year! He did call me to wish me. It was sweet. I hope 2018 is nice to me. Long distance is hard. Why do I put myself through this all the time?
January 23, 2018:
I’m nervous to be seeing him again. This is the first time I’m meeting him in person. Boy, oh boy.
Update: He actually came to get me from the airport, gave me a hug, took me to KFC because he was hungry. Is it normal to show up to meet your girlfriend, empty handed? And then to not offer her something to eat after her long flight? Maybe. Maybe I’m expecting too much. We have a date tomorrow. Yay!
January 25, 2018:
Is it normal to try getting into your girl’s pants right after meeting her? I don’t know who to talk to about this. I’ve never been with anyone before. It’s confusing me. I don’t want to disappoint him but I feel like my body isn’t ready. He left because I wouldn’t let him do me. I need someone to tell me what I’m doing wrong. Help.
January 26, 2018:
Today was a good day. He didn’t get handsy. We didn’t go anywhere. Just talked for a while. He held my hand and said he’d never felt this way before. I thought that was the sweetest thing.
January 27, 2018:
Took a cab to the airport. He said he would be too tired to drop me off. And that’s fine. I’m writing this while sitting in the lounge because my flight is late. And I see people talking to their partners. And mine isn’t even texting. It’s okay, he’s sleeping. He needs his sleep. I don’t know when I’d see him again.
February 7, 2018:
Apparently it’s Rose Day.
I sent him roses at work. He tossed them in the bin, because he couldn’t take them home. Understandable. Guys look silly I suppose, carrying flowers home.
February 14, 2018:
He didn’t call. But then he never calls me much anymore. I guess he’s working too hard. I am kind of disappointed because I was hoping to get flowers in the mail but… well, meh.
February 28, 2018:
He had me talk to his mum over FaceTime. Yay. Maybe they do like me.
March 6, 2018:
He never calls back these days. Maybe I should stop calling like a crazy person. I don’t want to be too clingy and then ruin everything.
June 21, 2018:
I’ve been too depressed to write. It’s been over a month since we’ve talked. He doesn’t communicate. He said I was juvenile and servile and that I irritate him way too much. I’m going to see him day after. Will be at my AirBNB for a week. It’s also my birthday soon. What do I do?
June 23, 2018:
He said he would come pick me up from the airport. He never showed. It’s raining and I’m stuck in traffic in my uber and I’m so hungry. This is what happens when you get too excited to meet your man and he never shows up.
Update: Ooh, my AirBNB is cosy. I’m going to be staying at the same one when I come over for his birthday in November. Also, he came to see me for a few minutes and then headed home.
June 26, 2018:
Happy birthday to me!
I’m alone in my AirBNB. Wish I’d ordered a cake. My parents called to wish me a happy birthday.
It’s now 3 PM and I’m sitting in my pjs. Ahaha. Bliss. Pretty sure he will show up and take me to dinner. It’ll be cute.
Update: It’s now 8 PM. He’s not here. He left at 7. He showed up at 3:30 and said he got caught up because the gift he got me was stuck in transit. But hey, he did get me flowers. We didn’t do dinner. He says dinners and stuff are meaningless and a waste of money. I guess he’s right. I’ll order some takeout and watch American Horror Story Reruns.
Best birthday, ever. Yay. I have red roses!
June 29, 2018:
I wish he would stop forcing himself upon me. I’m not ready for sex. I want to wait till I’m sure I want it too. He doesn’t seem to get it. He said I was a frigid cow and left in a rage. I am a frigid cow. I try so hard and I can’t give him what he wants. What do I do?
June 30, 2018:
I’m super tired to write. Just got home. He didn’t come see me off. As usual.
September 6, 2018:
Things are okay. He sent me flowers today. Pink ones. I hope they’re not too expensive because I don’t want him to yell at me again. I’m so excited I get to meet him next month!
October 27, 2018:
It’s been a month since we spoke. Again. He’s talking to me again, today. He says I put a lot of stress on him and that I’m too demanding and that I would never be happy no matter what he does. I’m unsure of whether I should be going to see him for his birthday.
Update: I found the dress I bought for MY birthday. While packing. It’s still got the tags on. Maybe I’ll wear it to his birthday. I’m going. He is a cute person. I’m the one that needs to compromise a little.
October 29, 2018:
I’m at this coffee place. My flight landed two whole minutes early. Whoa. And my luggage showed up fast too. I got out of the airport and called him and he didn’t pick. So I came here. Super dehydrated.
Update: He called back. I’m now at the Uber waiting area. He is super drunk and he’d forgotten I was coming over.
More update: Ah, my AirBNB is still the same cosy place I remember it being. Yay. Home. I changed into some pjs and I’m writing this before I go to bed. My super thoughtful host left me candy and books. Yum.
November 1, 2018:
He went home. It was a good day. We went to this place to have coffee. Maybe I should pay him back because I don’t want to come across as a clown.
I got balloons and cake for his birthday tomorrow. I’ll had the balloon people decorate my AirBNB and we had a cake waiting too. But he left. I was hoping he would stay with me, but hey it’s okay. His mum and dad need him too, right?
November 2, 2018:
I called him. At midnight. He didn’t take my calls. I don’t really cry much, but I did cry a little today. He never puts in the effort and I feel like I have way too many expectations from him.
He didn’t show up all day, and I leave tomorrow. I don’t think I’ll come back to see him ever again. My heart is broken.
November 3, 2018:
He doesn’t even know I’m back home. He hasn’t called me since he left on Thursday. I see him online all the time. I did ask him once. He said he’s talking to office people. At 3 AM.
I’m so tired.