We all have that one friend who is…
1. The Moocher. The one who always goes, “Dude? I don’t have my wallet on me,” every single damn time, after you’ve both enjoyed a nice lunch. Whatever happened to going Dutch?
2. The Weird Texter. The one who always goes “Sry I ws bsy”. Goodness Gracious. Your phone has something called auto correct. Make use of that. Pseudo-Illiteracy is not a trend! And I’m certainly not walking around with The Dictionary Of Weird, trying to understand what you mean when you say things like “prtcipte”. Jeez.
The one who’s always online but never texts until they need something.
The one who talks non stop but only types a “K” or maybe a “Oh” and you feel like you’re talking to a dead wall of zombieness.
Where do these people come from?!
3. The Self(ie) Obsessed. They bombard you with two million selfies per day, and expect you to compliment them and not be annoyed at all. These people need boyfriends, ASAP. Let the boyfriend die of selfie-overdose, while I selfishly enjoy my two minutes of peace devouring some nice new book.
4. The B*tching Partner. These people are absolute life-savers. What would you do without them? Remember Madison Montgomery from American Horror Story: Coven…? These people are your real life “Madison”s. I’m having a bit of a fangirl moment here, but then you know you need a b*tching partner. Mine happens to be awesome.
5. The Filthy Hypocrite. The most abundant kind. No explanation needed.