I’m an ugly crier, a crabby emotional wreck, I fall for words, I’m clingy as Hell and I’m a terrible judge of people. Also, I’m prone to making so many mistakes, it’s embarrassing.

You don’t want to be caught dead dating me.

And in case you’re my, er, boyfriend right now and if you’re reading this, you need to stick with me till the very end. And if at some point you’ve dated me and we’re no longer an item, you’re amazingly lucky. You smart, smart sneakster. You escaped!

And if you really like me, think again. I’m not worth it. You’re better off dating some nice girl who’s normal.

I’m neurotic, you see. I’ve had my heart broken into teensy little pieces. And then I’ve had people crush those teensy pieces into dust. The human body compromises all the time. My malfunctioning heart and seemingly atrophied brains have led to these over-functioning tear glands. Compromise.

I’ve been told I play victim. I’ve been told I am way more clingy than a baby bar of soap that latches onto the mommy bar of soap and refuses to budge. “Hard to peel off”, I’ve been called. Quote Unquote.

I’ve been bitten right on the carotid by the Curse of the Rebound. I get out of a relationship and invariably fall into the next. Breakup, find a shoulder to cry on, date the poor little nice guy, turn him into a monster, repeat.

I get mad when you don’t have time for me. I get hysterical when a year passes by without meeting up. I fight so there would be something to talk about. I try to fill long endless silences with crazy talk. I don’t let people spend on me, paranoid they’d call me a gold-digging freak. Because of that one time I dated this guy and he asked me for “reimbursement”.

(I’m serious. There are people like this.)

I crib like there’s no tomorrow.

Don’t ever date me. You’d lose it. Run, while you can.

Love xx

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44 thoughts on “Why I’m Un-Dateable.

  1. Umm I would see it as you like to give all you got.. atleast your heart is in the right place.
    Hey baby you know I was a lot like you probably still am but then I tried out a lot for sizes ..and its okay god will find somebody for you who really deserves you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. haha! You have to learn how to tackle someone. It’s easy. Just reach for their ankles and *poof* they’re down. πŸ˜€ I’m quite sure that no one is running away from you, but you did make me laugh. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Of course! Once, I totally lost a girls phone number. I was desperate to find it again. After a few weeks, I finally found it and called her. She said that she thought I’d never call and was happy that I did. I never told her that I tore apart my house and car to find it!

        Liked by 1 person

      1. FYI I went thru most of your posts. You are quite a character. Looking forward to seeing more of those. Now I am going to sign off every comment with “awesomesauce” until its dead rubber πŸ˜› See you around πŸ™‚ Awesomesauce πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

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