I don’t understand why, when you wait for something to just end, it never does. It drags on and on and on like a droning, old vacuum cleaner.

And this sucks even more because a) the rut that you’re stuck is like quicksand. Or worse. And b) you feel like you’re lost in a dark tunnel. Airless. Scary.

Something like this.

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What’s with these long days anyway?! Messing everything up! I believe in routine. Or at least used to. Ever since I’ve started working long hours, every commitment I ever made to myself has gone out the window.

I’d never eat in the middle of the night. And now? I feel like this. 

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I'm not even kidding here.

How much you eat is directly proportional to how stressed you are. I ate two whole entire scoops of chocolate and coffee ice cream with chocolate sauce and chopped almonds on top for dinner. *Yum.* Two nights in a row. It’s like ice cream trolls have breathed a whole different personality into me. 

Häagen Dasz and Baskin Robbins, you rock-suck.

I need to go on a diet again. Hardest commitment ever. Who says it’s hard to commit to another person? That’s easy! It’s hard to commit to your weight and your waistline, actually. I’ve convinced myself I still weigh a healthy forty-five kilos (I’m tiny – five two, don’t judge), if I suck in my belly and don’t breathe. But I last weighed in two months ago. When I didn’t binge on chocolate at 3 in the morning. When I didn’t stock Pringles in the house. When I wouldn’t eat Ramen noodles. As much as I do now.

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I don’t remember the last time I had muesli or toasted brown bread.

Or the last time I wore jeans without stretch in them. Dear Lord. 

Whatever. Eat. Pray. Love. Right?

How do you control your cravings? Do you binge on chocolate in the middle of the night? Do you nearly sleepwalk to the fridge and stuff your face like I do? Yay! BFFs! I like you already.

(Seriously though, I need help. Any tips?)

Love xx

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40 thoughts on “The Hardest Commitment.

  1. I could show you the hidden Easter candy…. I could also agree with you about ice cream for dinner, and dessert. I need to diet. I know it. But it’s terrible. I do the best when I keep busy. Until I get overwhelmed. I feel like calories should be a good thing. I was born in the wrong time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been saying I need to diet for…maybe years now? Actually doing it is another story. I wish it was as easy as saying it. Once you’re an adult, eating ice cream every night for dinner is allowed. You don’t have your parents saying no. My boyfriend and I were just talking this morning about who is in charge of setting calories and serving sizes on food, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I read that shopping on an empty stomach is never a good idea. I also then think about all the times that I go shopping on an empty stomach (which is every time) and I just pile everything in the cart that sounds great…which happens to be SO HORRIBLE! lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sometime last year I was at a party, and I just ate like literally everything there😂 I felt terrible and fat after every pringle or sausage roll, but I still ate more, because not allowing myself to have something made me want it more. I decided I needed to change something. I make as much of my own food as I can, but healthily, and not just salad! For example you can make the most delicious icecream out of just bananas, eventhough I like to add vanilla so it tastes just like real icecream!😋 and make homemade chocolate, pancakes, and more that are completely good for you! There’s no need to count calories or portion sizes. But I still live with my mum (I’m only 15) so I can’t fully live the lifestyle that I want to, but when I move out I plan on living a delicious vegan lifestyle where my cravings are clean! Type ‘vegan’ into Instagram and you’ll find some pretty yummy looking food! Sorry this is long, I hope I could help❤️

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Omg thank you, you’re so sweet! Lol but I’m definitely not petite! And I can relate to the struggle. I will say that I don’t keep certain binge worthy foods in the house, Cheez Its I’m talking to you!

        Liked by 1 person

      1. You are not! Google up fat bongs. They are like…”haadirr moton mukh aar shoreer” 😛 I am sure you don’t have that trait.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahah….you funny!! 😉 I wonder what figure I have. Have to figure it out 😉 Once I was super thin…like a praying mantis…then I put on weight at wrong places. Shows in some clothes, not in others. Teehee.

        Liked by 1 person

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