A lot of what I talk about has always happened in the course of my stay in a certain hostel. (Yes we call them “hostels” – with dorm rooms, roommates, a dining hall.)

The whole place reminded me of a zoo. If you think budding doctors are health freaks and super-concerned about hygiene, you’re so, so, so mistaken.

1. The Unadulterated Geeks:
I never knew I’d find such a, er, diverse, community within the hostel. Typically, you’d expect medical students to be giant geeks. Noses stuck in books. Bathroom walls filled with Biochem formulas. Unadulterated Geeks do all that.

These are the kind of people who actually go on to become successful doctors. The kind of doctors who happen to be so skilled they make their work look like a Michaelangelo sculpture. No flaws. No scars. Unfortunately, they’re a rare species.

Most people now just use Wikipedia. Instead of reading.

2. The Party Animal/ Booze Tank:
All these guys talk about is booze, party, Saturday nights, booze, and more booze. They’re even more entertaining than Russell Peters once they have attained hungover nirvana. I actually remember a friend of mine who used to be this way. Fun when drunk. That is one awesome hash tag. #funwhendrunk.

3. The Colossal Joke:
These people either dress “weird”, or have pronunciation problems. Jesus. I remember this chick who’d say, “Please maaaaaaassaaaaaage me” (roughly translating to “Please drop me a text”).

4. The ‘What-am-I-doing-here’ Awkward, Bumbling Morons:
Self-explanatory. I was one of them, heck, I still am.

5. Gold-Diggin’ Hoochie Mamas:
Too much makeup. Check. Low cut shirts. Check. Ten boys milling around. Check. Classic. These chicks would lead boys on, use their money and pay the professors (yes, our education system is rotten and corrupted) and pass and get married to a post graduate doctor with his own setup. Classic. This is the commonest species.

Kim Kardashian would be proud.

6. The One With No Same-Sex Friends:
Yes. When you live in a girls’ hostel you see a lot of them. I’m working with one such fascinating person. She doesn’t talk to women. Doesn’t have a single solitary girlfriend. Doesn’t like having girls’ night outs. Like she’s got an allergic reaction. Hello, you’re a girl too! How does a girl survive without girlfriends? Somebody please explain.

7. The Chronic-Bunker-Flunker:
People like me. We don’t like reading our med school books, preferring to read novels instead. *Sigh* and you end up losing time. This is what happens after skipping too many classes. Never. Cut. Class. Ever.

Love xx

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90 thoughts on “Kinds Of Med-School Students.

      1. India mainly consists of youth today but at least half of them have had their dreams shattered by parents… but YOU can be different. Say NO to your parents. Pick up the pieces of your dreams and glue them back together!

        (I like giving motivational speeches it makes me feel important)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I already finished the misery. And now I’ve to post graduate. Because, get this, “nobody comes for a consult if you’re just a MBBS.” (I like your motivational speeches, nothing wrong with feeling important. :P)

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Submit articles to papers anyway in your free time. When you become well known you can quit medicine and frame your medical qualifications and above it you can write ‘What Not To Do In Life’

        Liked by 1 person

      4. now now, I can’t share secrets in public, but message me on social media, or email, and I just might teach you something you won’t learn in med school 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      5. No, I mean it. I’m older than like 90% of my classmates so I don’t really goof as much in the classroom, but I’m all in for doing crazy stuff when we drink after class.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Oh, you’re not boring. Don’t start drinking just ’cause…
        I’m not supposed to drink either but sometimes it’s the only way I can deal with the stress. Emotional eating no longer cuts it for me. 😵

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Oh, do you like bold colors? You should try mary kay’s sassy fuchsia. 😁

        I don’t like make up or clothes. But I’m changing that since I became plus sized.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Oh, we don’t have Sephora either. I’ve googled it and here, some people just sell a few sephora and too faced items online. I’ll just try asking my friends or cousins abroad to send me some too faced items instead. What do you recommend?

        Liked by 1 person

      9. I have a dumb question, you are Bengali right? Um… do you really live in India or are just there for school? I have expat friends who are also Bengali but they’re from Bangladesh.

        Liked by 1 person

      10. Then don’t! Try going to the UK or the US, or if you really have to stay in India, don’t rot – thrive. You know, bloom where you’re planted and all that. ^.^

        Like

      11. Just try your best. Maybe, you’ll get lucky… I would say come to the Philippines, but I think the things you don’t like about India are also here.

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Then come here. My sister is also in med school here and she has a lot of foreign classmates from Thailand, Nepal, Brunei, Africa, and India. I think school here is also cheaper than in India.

        Liked by 1 person

      13. Awww, bummer!

        Are you a doctor already? What about further education for your field of specialization? But if you’re already specializing then getting further education in the west is best, I think?

        Liked by 1 person

      14. Well, we can be miserable together when my classes resume in June?

        Lol. I know that isn’t any better, but they did say misery loves company and all that. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I had a chronic burn in my shin for the better part of a year. Eventually I accept the fact that it’s probably cancer and that my life expectancy has effectively taken a tumble down the stairs (should’ve invested in life-alert, damn). I don’t need a doctor to diagnose me–I’m a big tough guy and don’t need nobody telling me what I already know (namely the fact that I have a lethal dose of the cancer floating around inside me)–but, then again, it does hurt kind of a lot.

    Now, as I’ve mentioned earlier, I’m a big tough guy. I only cry at Disney Movies and when I stub my toe or knock my elbow or get a papercut. But that’s it, nothing else can get these waterworks going. So, the fact that my leg hurts so bad as to elicit the occasional sob or accidental sigh means the pain is probably more than the average mortal could stand.

    Based on this, I figure it wouldn’t reflect too poorly on my masculinity if I just visit the doctor and grab some pain meds. I waltz in, or atleast give my best attempt at a waltz (remember my leg really, really hurts so it comes out looking more like a texas two step which is definitively less cool, but what do you want from me? I’m dying). I explain to the very nice Indian lady doctor that I have cancer and that I need drugs to ease my transition into the next life.

    She looks at me, clearly impressed by the immense amount of pain I’ve withstood, and says that first she would like to rule out the possibility that my wains are inflamed. I blink at her in return–partly because my eyes are dry, but mostly because I’m confused.

    She continues unperturbed, “It’s not unusual for wains to become inflamed, which can cause some discomfort.”

    Two things, Doc: First, this isn’t discomfort. I’m dying, show some respect. Second, what the hell is a wain?

    These aren’t actual things I say, they remain inside my skull as part of an internal monologue. It seems better not to expose my ignorance yet.

    And ignorant I am, ’cause I don’t have a clue what a wain is. Couldn’t point to it on the doll if my life depended on it. But I play along, coy as a cucumber, feigning as though I know all about wains. She drops some doctor speak on me and then exits stage left. I pull out my smart phone and google wains (google never judges my ignorance). Alas, the almighty googletron turns up nothing. Weird. I’m beginning to suspect my doctor isn’t actually a doctor. Tread carefully, I say to myself outloud, because the room is quiet and I’m alone and sometimes I do that, so what?

    A nurse walks in, stealthy as a ninja and eyes me up. “So you’ve got some inflamed veins, huh?”

    Veins…. wains.. What.. the… It dawns on me that somehow my doctor made it through medical school without anybody explaining to her how horrifically confusing her pronunciation of such a simple (and commonly used) word was.

    The point of all this, I suppose, is to say that those type 3 doctors you listed above need to be rounded up and summarily ridiculed until their tongues get with the program. That is all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh God. I’m so sorry. Wains? Seriously?! Did you get a confirmatory check up?

      People in certain parts of my country have really strong accents. I’m so sorry again.

      Thank you for sharing this!

      Like

      1. Yeah. I can actually think of a few classmates already who already fit into all the types, except maybe for the geek. And I’m totally stealing your #funwhendrunk hashtag :p

        Liked by 1 person

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