WHO the heck invented the jumpsuit? They need to be hit over their heads with a Strawberry Shortcake doll. Repeatedly.

Here’s why jump-crappy-suits suck:

1. Like everyone else, I got carried away by the jumpsuit revolution. And then I realized – it’s got to be the worst invention ever. I’ve tried too many jumpsuits and they feel like a straitjacket around my personality.

Break free, Sooch.

2. I’m dwarfy. And jumpsuits cut off my height even more for some reason. I look in the mirror and I see… Nothing. It just does not work for me. See, this is why I hate jumpsuits. They’re more intimidating than your neighbor’s nutter grandma.

3. Jumpsuits give you total camel-toe. If they haven’t yet, they will. It’s inevitable. Someday. And obviously. You can not escape.

4. Jumpsuits make trips to public restrooms effing miserable. As if wearing the damn thing wasn’t miserable enough. Gaaaaaaah.

And…

…this is the only way I can actually pose for pictures in one of those monstrosities. I totally look like I’ve got constipation. And in case you’re wondering, you perv, my bowels are perfectly okay. Thank you very much.

image
This is why I shouldn't do fashion posts.

This is also why girls like me shouldn’t talk fashion. I murder things.

Let’s lighten the mood, shall we?

Here’s a wildly transparent attempt to divert your attention from my extremities and my gluteus maximus.

image
Now this is something I love. MAC lipstick in Taupe.

Enjoy!

Love xx

Advertisements

53 thoughts on “Why Jumpsuits Suck Bananas.

  1. Haha! Jump suits give toe. Too funny! I think that you look adorable in your jump suit! Just make sure that you don’t wear an orange one, though, or you’ll be scooted off to prison. I’m not commenting on the lips. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Totally! But I wouldn’t wear them anyways…I just can’t pull off any ounce of femininity and jumpsuits don’t seem to help anyone’s feminine looks.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. For some reason your way of expressing things, resembles one of my friend. You do have a natural talent and good going. Love your blog. It’s raw but it’s welcome. Not many can portray such rawness.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Did I? I feel so important haha. I’m all for the pee bag. Or a zipper trap door thingy…I’m gonna shut up. If you see me write a post about pee bags in jumpsuits, you influenced it…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the heels…are they maddens..!? I think i have saw them in the madden store and even tried them but they dint have my size
    Anyway mac lipstick….gaaaaaah….i want one too
    Now for the posing…damn i want to killl you for looking so haaaaaaawt
    And for the jumpsuit
    Actually i love jumpsuits…reason being…well what if i did a post about it…maybe the fourth or fifth style talk will be about jumpsuits thenπŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love them heels too! Yeah, they’re Maddens! Awh you can borrow mine.. I’m a size 6. Lol.

      Yesssssss. I only own 14 MAC lipsticks, I want more, but my pocket is being a mean arse.

      And I can’t pose. Lol. Seriously. That still looks awkward!

      I loathe loathe jumpsuits. They make me look like I’m one and a half foot tall. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Urghh..i am a size five…and i dont own a single mac lipstick lol
        As for the posing..shut up already like please dude
        And jumpsuits…i guess we differ here….but its okay ti have diff perspectives right!!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s