I always get called a lot of names. I thought I would amuse you with some of that. It’s hilarious.
Oh hello, voices in my head. So nice to meet you!
2. Sarcastic b*tch:
Because last time I checked, I was definitely human, not a female dog.
As for the sarcastic part, everyone needs some armor, mine being the gift of ironic gab: because, let’s face it – we can’t all have fictional superpowers.
What does this even mean? A little fluffy white baby mammal who’s also a hooker? Weird. Who comes up with these words? Let’s have a round of sarcastic applause.
I can’t even….!
5. This one is epic – Boy-crazy:
Wow. If I were, I’d have had twenty abortions by now. And look! I haven’t even properly hit third base! Yay.
Also depends on who the BOY, or boys, in question is – is it This Guy?
Well. Oh. I’m totally boy-crazy. *Droooool*
Because. People think it’s absolutely okay to play me and then leave.
But then, I let them. So here it’s completely MY fault.
7. Cowardly little girl:
I don’t get it. How does one contradict their own statement? On one hand I’m a huge b*tch, and on the other, I’m also a little girl?
And just so you know, there’s nothing – nothing, NOTHING little about me. *punches you in the face.*
8. Monotonous and Boring:
So you think I’m boring, that my blog is dumb, well, who asked you to read it? I certainly haven’t.
9. Attention seeking butthead:
Yes. I am. I pretend to be a victim, I exaggerate, I lie, I crack jokes and people laugh. Happy? How is that dangerous to the ozone layer?
Oooh. It isn’t? Good.
And everyone likes attention. It feels like a toasty warm blanket of hugs. It isn’t a crime!