Here’s the thing about college: you never know what to expect. Like, I went to med school hoping to be a doctor. Ended up being the patient instead. Surprise, surprise. Laugh all you want, but I’m not kidding here.
Here’s what I learned.
1. You may or may not top your course. But, you’ll top the course in The Art Of Bullcrapping. You’ll lie, steal, beg, borrow and cheat. In some way or the other, just so you don’t flunk.
2. If you’re a student in any of the gazillion colleges in India, specially, you’ll learn the finer points of How To Be The Teacher’s Pet. Which basically means you’ll sell your soul to the University Devil to get extra credit and good placements/ a better shot at post grad.
(And you’ll realize that this doesn’t even work half the time.)
3. You’ll learn the fine art of finding study partners. Subtly. You’ll learn how to get in and out of trouble like a puppy jumping through hoops. And you’ll also learn how to ditch people and get ditched right back, and shrug it off like it were nothing, and say, “No big deal.”
4. Frat parties. Boys. Girls. Crazy pheromone attacks. You’ll get trapped, sucked in, and learn to battle the call of the death trap of the Opposite Sex.
You’ll either emerge victorious or victimized.
5. You’ll discover new vocabulary and new latent talents you never knew existed, like becoming the new Keg champion or inventing a whole new word while being surreptitiously drunk out of your skull.
Or even learning that pseudo-illiteracy is not a trend. And that there’s something sexy called “punctuation”.
6. You’ll learn to feel pain in places you never knew existed. You will be misunderstood, betrayed, you’ll break hearts. You’ll bond/ break up with people at the speed of sound. These bondings last forever, you’ll realize years later. College gives you the best relationship advice ever. Oh, and teaches you so much about girls. (And boys.)
7. Finally, you’ll learn what growing up overnight feels like. You’ll date the wrong people. Finally, all Taylor Swift songs will make sense.