I honestly do NOT believe this. I’d deactivated my Facebook, two years ago, and today I was jobless as Hell, so I decided I’d have a peek. And see what everyone on my friend list was up to.

Turns out, everyone is married. Some of my friends have babies. BABIES.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NONONONONONO. What? This totally means I’m next in line. Panic attack. And right on cue, Dad happened to call with a, “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” And I was like, “Hey Dad, I think I’ll totally nail my exams. On the head. Yay!”

Thank Goodness for Gullible Bengali Parents. It worked. Dad got distracted. Like, “Ooh. Honey, I’m so glad.”

And whew, conversation over.

Here’s the thing. Girls like me? We don’t get married. We become the future Mamata Banerjees (look her up. She’s the current chief minister of West Bengal). And we are ones that age – erm – gracefully, into a fat faced old women with bags under their eyes. I’m not talking Chanel bags. I’m talking puffy age bags. That are unappealing, tacky and well, grossly un-fascinating.

Also, girls like me never make good mothers. I’ve had people tell me I’m so filled with poison, I’m better off without multiplying. Because, duh. The world’s a much, much, much better place without little Sooches running around. And I agree. Terminate my bloodline. Save the world. Yay!

So I’m doing the stratosphere a world of good. Really. By staying single. How awesome is that? So while I’m busy staying unattached and free like flotsam and jetsam, et cetera, I make it a point to shop a la Becky Bloomwood. You know, helping the economy and all.

image
I'm obsessed with lipsticks right now, in case anyone was wondering.

This post was so effing random. Wow. If anyone is reading this, thank you for loving me so much. At least, I’ll assume you love me. Hahaha. Jokes apart, I love you too. ❀

We could all do with some lovin’. Even Ms. Banerjee.

Love xx

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83 thoughts on “Erm… WHAT?!

      1. hahahaha I guess this is why the “unfriend” button exists. So we don’t have to see other people miles ahead of us at this “life” thing while we just go on the Internet and watch TV shows…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I can totally relate. My facebook friends are the same, most married and have babies. Either that or they’re still in school. I’m like those in between the spectrum, in school, still living at home, and single.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmmm. “Girls like you”. Sounds like a bit of self defeat in that statement. When my friends started to marry, I felt nothing. It must have been time for them, but not for me. Sometimes we build our own prison walls and stop ourselves from finding our destiny. Life life as you choose, with whom you choose. Don’t follow anyone elses schedule other than yours. Marry who you love and not what society has dictated for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t want to. I’m not the world’s nicest person and I don’t claim to be. But I’m sure if I ever procreate, all hell would break loose. So no marriage for me. Unless my parents push me into one. India is like that.

      Like

  3. Suchie there are many other things you might have missed out other than the marriage and babies part. You should try logging in when there is an earthquake or any “milestone” event like Salman, Shahrukh or Aamir releasing their new movie, or on Salman coming out on bail. The whole social network erupts as if their back is on fire. Everyone wanting to be the first one to post about it. And the myraid of tantrum over IPL, Arnab Goswami and Saas bahu serials. The list is exhausting. I need a break. πŸ˜›
    It’s a rat’s race out there for being “informative”. I am sure we find it least informative.
    And how can I even state about the numerous selfies with hash tag ranging from #nofilter to #justMadeAnOrgasmicExpressionWhileTakingThisSelfie (U can get the gist of what I mean).
    Its a blessing u are away from it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I wish I could do that. But my life is complicated. Getting out of it now will complicate it further. So I prefer sitting on the side stand and enjoy the show while munching on my popcorn. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi! I have a lot of friends in my old high school who have like two to four year old kids already, and I’m only 19. Sigh btw, I enjoyed reading this, kinda relate to the whole “might be single forever” part! (:

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just so you know: I love your posts so much that you’re the only one I’m REALLY following. Like, if I don’t see your posts on my reader, I directly go to your site to read your latest post. Love your humour and style.
    Just. Never. Change.
    And hey, there might be thousands of guys falling head over heels in love with you after reading your Posts! You can choose one, create a family and live happily ever after. (Kidding. I have no right to tell you what to do. But honestly, the world would love to have another one like you.) πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Eeeeeeeeeek. Shubhada. I will come there and smack you with a strawberry shortcake doll!!!! I don’t want to choose a rando blogger online and get sorted! This isn’t online shopping you know? Gaaaaaaaahhhh.

      And you’re so lovely. Thank you for liking my posts so much! *massive hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

      1. What has a strawberry shortcake doll ever done to you? You’re always ready to smack someone with it. Dolls too have feelings, you know.
        Oh, and you’re right about the online shopping thing. If only marrying someone was that easy. :’D
        Also, *massive hugs returned with a throbbing pain on my head where you hit me*

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahah! I wasn’t talking about myself, I was talking about the others. Hit away the others! I’ve already got my share! :’D
        Ok, what are we even talking about? This is so stupid. πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Zo mai gosh 41 likes!!! girl your doing amazing!!! and I love this post. and you look BEAUTIFUL! im sure one day a man whos not after you for all the wrong reasons will come change your mind….ABOUT THE BOYFIREND THING. kids? oh no it should be aginst the law by now to have kids. we dont even have enough jobs for the humans WE DO have on earth. again love the post <3<3

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I love random posts. I used to write them all the time when I was writing more often. I also like random, pointless comments that may or may not have anything to do with the post itself, so a person may or may not have even read the post, but at least they left a comment I guess. Anyway, you’re a doctor? That’s pretty awesome. In another life, I wanted to be a doctor, but school. Lol. Carry on. I shall harass you some more in the future maybe. Mark B sent me over so you must be ok if’n he likes you.

    Liked by 1 person

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