I understand. You’re a doctor. Fresh off the Med-School-Oven.
This does NOT explain the dumb things you do, right? The dumb things being –
1. Carrying your Littmann’s Stethoscope everywhere you go. And using it for every auscultable sound imaginable. And letting it hang around your neck, only to have it get tangled up in other peoples’ clothing.
Don’t even get me started on bowel sounds.
Like, “OHMYEFFINGGOODNESS THIS BE BETTER THAN BEATS HEADPHONES, Y’ALL.”
Normal people compare biceps. Or cars. Or whatever.
Noob doctors compare stethoscopes. Go figure.
2. Making wrong use of said Littmann’s Steth. Okay, I agree that Litman’s stethoscope is THE Holy Grail. And that it’s very important to use it for all good purposes. But…
3. Posing in lab coats. And scrubs. This is very, very important for noob doctors. Newbie doctors. You perv, stop doing double takes. I said ‘NOOB’, NOT ‘BOOB’.
4. Eff-all Condescending Attitude: Every newbie doctor suffers from professional dumbness culminating in a sick-arse holier-than-thou attitude. Giving patients the eye-roll and acting like you’re the president of the Universe happen to be two of the major symptoms.
Jokes apart, you can’t really blame us.
We watched too much of Grey’s Anatomy all our lives and got into med school hoping there would be locker-room action. Nada.
All the action we ever get?
Getting pricked by needles so we can stay well enough to look after ‘them lovely patients.’