I understand. You’re a doctor. Fresh off the Med-School-Oven.

This does NOT explain the dumb things you do, right? The dumb things being –

1. Carrying your Littmann’s Stethoscope everywhere you go. And using it for every auscultable sound imaginable. And letting it hang around your neck, only to have it get tangled up in other peoples’ clothing.

image
Yep. We do that.

Don’t even get me started on bowel sounds.

Like, “OHMYEFFINGGOODNESS THIS BE BETTER THAN BEATS HEADPHONES, Y’ALL.”

Normal people compare biceps. Or cars. Or whatever.

Noob doctors compare stethoscopes. Go figure.

Jee. Zus.

2. Making wrong use of said Littmann’s Steth. Okay, I agree that Litman’s stethoscope is THE Holy Grail. And that it’s very important to use it for all good purposes. But…

image
...then you do this.

3. Posing in lab coats. And scrubs. This is very, very important for noob doctors. Newbie doctors. You perv, stop doing double takes. I said ‘NOOB’, NOT ‘BOOB’.

image
I'm no different. Poser Sooch.

4. Eff-all Condescending Attitude: Every newbie doctor suffers from professional dumbness culminating in a sick-arse holier-than-thou attitude. Giving patients the eye-roll and acting like you’re the president of the Universe happen to be two of the major symptoms.

image
Technically, you're not supposed to laugh at this.

Jokes apart, you can’t really blame us.

We watched too much of Grey’s Anatomy all our lives and got into med school hoping there would be locker-room action. Nada.

All the action we ever get?

Getting pricked by needles so we can stay well enough to look after ‘them lovely patients.’

Love xx

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74 thoughts on “Dumb Stuff Noob Doctors Do.

      1. I think of everyone as friends. And I hate being snobbish. Also, if you see me talkng to myself in my comment section, it’s because the person in was talking to happened to delete his comments. Just a heads up. 😛

        I am not nuts.

        Liked by 2 people

      1. i had an instinct but my ghost asked me to confirm . so i just asked .. and you know a doctor is such a kind and noble profession .. if the person take it as that and don’t cheats the patients ..

        Liked by 1 person

      2. ok .. it happens .. it was my first time .. i forgot .. m a human after all … u were getting faint . that is the point brave girl … 😉

        Like

      1. Oh my God.

        I will totally take a flight to Canada, scrounge the whole place, find you – and give you two billion hugs!

        🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

        Liked by 1 person

      2. RIGHT!? Pandas hugs all around. Bear hugs are too mainstream. Thanks for being the first one to reblog that post! Gonna write a post now about it all.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Dear Lil,

    From the standpoint of one who has been on the other side of the coin too many times for comfort (i.e., as the patient of a noob, or, for that matter, a fogey doctor…), I have to say it’s good to hear one of y’all speak as if you had a clue… I often find doctors to be the absolute worst offenders of those who THINK they are special, or, are particularly well-educated (especially compared to myself…), when, in fact, most are just another face in the crowd of slaves and mundanes, who go through life believing what they see on TV is how life really is…

    So, good to hear it; now, if you can keep from ever thinking you DO have more knowledge than your patients, you MIGHT someday begin to DO medicine, instead of merely practicing ( A state, I might add, I find MOST doctors don’t even qualify as having progressed to. Most haven’t reached such an advanced point in their knowledge of medicine, so as to be able to even consider themselves to be practicing…..) Far too many consider they know all they need to know, forgetting the very first tenet of any field of knowledge, to wit: to learn, one must first admit their ignorance…

    Just in case you’re wondering, I’m 64 years old, and have read a book each day, and more, for more than 55 years. I turned down medical school, twice, as I already had decided never to tempt myself with that kind of power over others, even though I have a talent for healing. Such power is too corrupting, and all-too-often leads to more harm than good, when wielded by people with less compassion than intelligence. Instead, I worked with the mentally ill, and the developmentally disabled, as a technician, down in the trenches of life in mental hospitals…

    Any who, nice post; very funny, as I’ve seen almost all of what you mentioned, with doctors right out of med school… Sadly, too many never get much better than when they start, as they were in the wrong pathway for their actual talents to begin with… You were right again, when you mentioned those who enter the field for ambition, for money, sex, power, influence, whatever, when only those who enter because they want to heal will ever be true doctors….

    BTW, as a doctor, where do you find the time to blog? Amazing…. I think that’s why I like your stuff; I suspect you’re a polymath, always a trait I find intriguing, as I’m one myself….

    Take care, and blessed be… and remember to LISTEN to your patients….

    gigoid, the dubious

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First off, thank you!

      I am passionate about blogging, really, which is why I make it a point to blog everyday. Also, it helps me relax. And I loathe the cranky attitude most noobs have and it annoys the ish out of me.

      I got into med school because my parents wanted. I sure as heck won’t be practising. I want to write, and maybe start my own business someday. 🙂

      Is that too weird?

      Like

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