This post is going to lose me followers and there will be tons of hate comments, and I won’t cry because I totally deserve it.
Enough with the funny posts. Let’s get serious. I need your help.
I’ve been hit by the Curse of the Rebound.
I can’t help not getting swept off my feet. There has to be a medical term for the condition I’m suffering from. Jeez. I feel like such a shallow b*tch. Those people were totally right.
I’m a serial flirt.
I have tried to pass it off as being friendly, being caring, being whatever-the-ish-to-save-my-sorry-butt. And I guess I can’t hide any longer.
I’m also fickle. Worst. Combination. Ever. I pity the poor bloke who’s gonna end up marrying me.
I get carried away too fast. I absolutely have to reply to every comment and every text. And God knows how I make everything so easy. And I make myself so easy. All this while I’d been thinking, Sooch, you’re not always at fault. But now I realize, it’s not them – it’s me.
My wiring is totally shot.
A while ago, I was crushing – so hard – over this guy and I even blogged about it. Turns out, he wasn’t interested so I gave up. And then bam! A new guy struts in. And of course, I have to be nice and kind and empathize with him about his newly-single status.
Why, Sooch, why?
In my defense, I don’t share my number with every guy. Not all at the same time anyway. And I don’t cheat. But I have a tons of rebounds. The rebound of the rebound of the rebound of the…
This is practically felony. I should be in jail for constantly being in situations like these. It’s like I’m too stupid to exercise some self-control. Like I can’t be on my own. For more than a month. This is nothing but slutty behavior.
It totally justifies all the name-calling. I am another superficial fickle flirt who ONLY EVER LIKES LIPSTICK.
WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME?
*Gets hit by a pig.*