I’m done with all the rape news. Done with all the corruption. Therefore, I bring to you the following list of what India really needs.

1. Restraining Orders:

We don’t seem to have these. Nowhere in the neighborhood. People stalk, hurt, beat the ish out of others. Nobody says a word. Nobody takes stalking seriously.

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True that.

2. Sense of Propriety:

Why is half the population potty-mouthed? Why does our education system have to suck rotten bananas? Why does communication fail, but fornication works? Got explanations? Please. Go ahead. Talk.

3. POPULATION CONTROL:

image

‘Nuff said.

4. Job Openings:

Too many people. No jobs. Do the math.

5. Pig-Eradication Programmes:

We need these like the heart needs the beat. I kid you not, it’s a nightmare when you know they’re waiting to run at you and cause you to topple off.

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No, you don't, b*tch - DIE.

6. Ban on Random Song Sequences in Movies:

There were no storylines to begin with: must you torture people with crappy song sequences out of the blue? We came here to de-stress, not re-stress, remember?

7. Ban on Random Movies that Promote Crappy Behavior…

…that kids end up copying. It’s not okay to walk around dressed like the whore of Babylon – IN BROAD DAYLIGHT – and definitely not okay to rape the said whores of Babylon.

GROW THE F*CK UP.

8. Bus Laws:

Let me emphasize – STRICT BUS LAWS. As in, no raping, no groping, no crotch rubbing, and no smoking.

If you can’t find a seat, please find another bus.

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Story of my life.

It’s not okay to rub against another person, or sleep on their shoulders or look down their shirts. Seriously!

9. No Spitting/ Peeing in Public Policies:

Do not sprittle on the road. Do not throw phlegm on the road.

Gentlemen, please, do not pee in public.

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Some Indian men take this rule super seriously.

And not in front of my house. Thanks.

10. Sexy Politicians:

What do you expect from a country with ancient politicians? Who look so frail –Β  dandelion seeds would feel smug.

If you’ve got money, go shopping at least, dear politicians. And didi – invest in lipstick, maybe? And shoes? Please?

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56 thoughts on “What India Needs.

  1. Claire Underwood from House of Cards. A perfect example for how politicians should dress up. Though we can’t expect the “elderly” ladies (read auntie’s) of our Parliament to honor this wish. πŸ˜› And we do need young lady politicians. Hey Suchie, maybe you can try this profession. They could use your wit and intellect. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Haha I understand what you mean. Dubai is like little India in a lot of places (looking at you deira and satwa). All the things you mentioned above are very prevalent. Even the residential places that have shopping areas tend to be like that. I had to scream at guys to stop following me several times when I went grocery shopping or for run/walks

    I also had to carry deep heat in my bag in the absence of pepper spray just to feel a little comfy on the some streets.

    No hope of not getting crushed on the buses on weekdays especially during the peak hours.

    As for staring down your clothes or just staring at you in an unnerving way, I took to sitting in the women only section to stop feeling like a naked target

    Liked by 1 person

  3. And there you have my vote of confidence!

    However, I’m still on the fence about a couple of points:
    1. A female should have all the rights to dress howsoever she likes (even if that suggests being dressed up in the crappiest way possible) and walk in the streets feeling safe. Though I definitely have a word against those aforementioned movies.
    2. Politicians need not be sexy and young physically. However, a young mind and thinking is a must.

    I like your words much and India needs more people who think so.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Okay, I feel asleep on the fat, bearded guy’s shoulder–I didn’t plan it and he didn’t seem to mind. Don’t cut me off because of it! (Rule 8 and now I want a donut)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. And what of the millions who participate in the ritualistic bathing in the Ganges?.. life/cleansing ……..

    Thanks for the pleasant weekend ‘little’

    Liked by 1 person

      1. ohhh … i neva came there so can’t tell .. but m living in chd … here we respect womens and our enviornment … people and administration follows same attitude .. although m not gonna say everything perfect but yeah it is in much control ..

        Liked by 1 person

      2. and these things are what we have to do .. administration changes with only people’s attitude … cities like mysore changed them themselves … no one came to help .. we need to find how to imply ??? either of what to imply ?? …

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Share your ideas with your friends , seniors , juniors ,siblings , make a community , small bhi chalegi , and start implying your ideas a bit on weekends .. you will feel good …also others will inspire looking at you …

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahah, you seem PRETTY pissed of, sooch!
    Okay seriously, whatever you said is true. India needs a change. But I still love India. I’m painfully patriotic. And Indians got independence 60 years ago. Whereas America got independence in 1776. That means almost 250 years ago.
    So give India some time, it’ll develop too.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This throwing phlegm is everywhere and that bus points! !uff
    God help me before I lose my cool in this dreadful world :p I sometimes think of carrying a pepper spray for such felonies πŸ˜€
    Btw the most goes for People everywhere not only india but it’s neighboring country :p

    Liked by 1 person

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