So you’ve been asked out on a date. What do you do? Apart from the freaking out, I mean. You start to sweat out of the top of your head, of course. Um, wait. That is a part of the freaking out thing, too.
Here’s an exclusively Soochified list of tips on how to really act on dates.
1. Now that you’ve actually been asked out, tell yourself this. Over and over again. Like a mantra. Till it sinks in. Right? Good.
2. Drag a friend along, so she can totally act as catalyst of sorts. Make sure you have the guy come pick you up. And make sure the pick-up-spot is a tea shop. With weird names like Something-Anna’s tea shop. Also, make sure to make your friend sit in the middle, so she can break the ice for the both of you. You and your date, I mean.
3. Once the ice has been broken, and your friend is practically squirming with awkwardness, leave the said tea shop with your date and start walking to a cosy spot. Elsewhere. Make sure you’re out in broad daylight because – a, you’d know if you were dating a vampire because he would totally sparkle in the sun and b, if he tries to hide you in his backpack, you’d have someone to call for help.
Meanwhile, distract him by doing this. Constantly.
4. Hypnotize the bozo. If you like him, that is.
Also pay compliments.
5. In case you don’t, ask him crappy questions like:
Also make comments like:
6. If your date is acting crazy thanks to your erm, entertaining, antics, ask him if he’s going all hot and bothered – in a bad way.
7. If he’s still being nice but you don’t want to kiss him, you can totally dodge his approach. Just do this:
8. If all goes well, go out to dinner. Make sure YOU PICK THE PLACE. And just to be safe – keep 911 handy. And inform all your friends, so they’re just a SOS away. Look for exit ports.
Do not eat too much. You don’t wanna get gassy. And end up embarrassing yourself.
9. Dress to kill.
WEAR GRANNY UNDERWEAR. When in doubt, that is.
10. Laugh at his jokes even if you don’t get them. If you like him, that is.
If you don’t, well…
How awesome am I?
Thank you. I love you right back. I hope I made you laugh so hard, your eyeballs popped out and landed on your pizza.
Totally random question, but does anyone else think Tove Lo is awesomesauce? I’m currently obsessed with Talking Body.