I realize I missed one instalment of my WTF Wednesday series. Do not fret. I’m still hogging. Pigging out. What else do you expect? I live in the Pig Capital of the country, hello.

My doctor says I’ve to weigh in once every week. Which I never do. I’m terrified of two things – shaadi.com and the weighing scale. And yes, my crazy parents had once created a profile for me. Oh that dumb matrimonial website. Yes, you can get grooms and brides online while surfing the net, sitting on your couch in your Hello Kitty/ Batman PJs and stuffing your face with Pringles while managing to look like a perfect version of death. I hacked into dad’s computer and took that embarassing load of crap down.

*Insert giant dramatic shudder*

So before I stray any further from what I was saying – I actually weighed in today. And it was bad news, y’all. Bad news calls for cheese and all sorts of comfort food that hugs your derriere. And thighs. And your midsection. And I decided to grab the most fattening thing on the menu. Fine. I’m fat. Fat people are happy. And I’m turning 24. In exactly a week. I have to get drunk on food. I have to. It’s the sweetest taste of sin.

Right?

The voices in my head – and belly – tell me this is wrong. That I should watch my calories. But – look, pretty food!

There are three things you can’t ever say no to – pretty food, pretty stationery… Pretty shoes.

Also, have you noticed that EVERYTHING SEEMS APPEALING WHEN YOU’RE ON DIET? I’m sure even Haggis would seem appealing. Or maybe I’m preggers with a food baby. That’s it. That explains why I’m hungry all the time.

image
I've never seen nachos that matched shirts. Lol.

Which reminds me – that yellow dip tasted horrible, by the way. It’s just that the light makes it look okay. And I am never eating nachos again.

Ooh. I’ve got a Sheldon Cooper-y thing with “spots.” Like, my friend and I would always sit at this corner booth, but then we got hit by the Attack of Helicopters – waiters who hover, try to flirt, and just. won’t. budge. And every time you try to take a bite, they come talk to you and your food gets cold waiting on the fork somewhere halfway between your plate and mouth. And you’re too polite to ask them to go away. And they won’t take the hint.

Today we actually changed our spot. And guess what? No Helicopters! Yes! 💪

(Sorry about the insane diary-ish post. I’m totally stressed. It sucks, having to say goodbye to early twenties. *Sob*)

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47 thoughts on “Sweetest Taste of Sin.

  1. A watermelon and a cantaloupe! Are you going to name one of the food baby twinsies after me, LR? Hey, you’re beautiful AND young. No, I did not go snooping on your pop’s Indian nuptial site to make that judgment. Got my Mrs. B the good, old American way. Hahahahaha. I have to sing Happy Birthday to Sooooooch a whole week straight and somebodye’s ears are gonna be hurting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Even I’m sooooooo afraid of weighing scale!! It’s the most depressing thing in the world πŸ˜€
    Also I have nominated you for the Liebster Award but dunno why unable to paste the link here 😦
    Please check it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. …and then I prayed hard for the ability to be able to reach into and pull stuff out of my computer, for I got hungry as f__k reading this and all the food joints are closed…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I haven’t weighed myself in almost a year. I really hate it when people ask me what I weigh. The last time I went to the doc’s they asked me my weight. That pissed me off a lot because the nurse gave me this “yeah right” look when I told her I don’t know what I weigh. To make matters worse, she asked me to approximate my weight. The horror!!
    If I was not in so much of a hurry to get out (plus I happen to be very polite) I would have given her a piece of my mind….which was probably me refusing to approximate and just asking why she didn’t get a weighing machine for me instead. Alas my politeness got the best of me.

    I still fume thinking of it tho. Arrrgh!

    P.s Happy birthday in advance Sooch. Give yourself a bday present like a spa day, dinner and cake. That’s what I gifted myself for my 25th(the spa day, the cake and pizza were courtesy of my friends). It was awesome

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have to work on my birthday:D and I hate birthdays so giant excuse to get out of it! Haha.

      And calm down – people who don’t bother about their weight and eat and love food are fun. That nurse needs a goooood old smacking.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I won’t comment on the food. Except is that yellow sauce meant to represent cheese? UGH!
    I do want to comment on your lamenting leaving the early 20s. It gets better. Much, much better. The late 20s will blow your mind and every decade after that gets better. I can guarantee that you will be amazed.

    Liked by 1 person

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