I’m insanely jealous of two people: Head of the Medicine Department and Peter Pan. Medicine HOD because he can actually f*ck screw with people, and have his own way all the time, and people still listen to him like he were Optimus Prime or something, and Peter Pan, because he never effing grows up.

I might be suffering from the Peter Pan syndrome. Even though I’m an adult female and I know squat about pop psychology.

See, I go crazy times crazy when my birthday approaches. Why, you ask? I’m approaching the wrinkles, the joint pains, and probable bed-pan moments so, how am I supposed to be happy about it, huh? And oh, the nightmare of having more candles than cake on your birthday cake!!!

image
The pain of having to go though with this again!!

Have you ever looked at the balloon guy at the park and wanted to be two again? Watched kids chase each other and sighed wistfully? Wanted to eat without having people stare at you because you’d given yourself a chocolate mustache?

I miss all of it. I want all of it. If you want to get me a birthday present, take me back in time.

It was the best – living in a bubble of innocence. When the only four letter word meant “love” – the uncomplicated kind.

“I love Daddy.”

“I love chcocolate milk.”

“I love you, Taffy.”

Taffy being your childhood pet. Or your imaginary friend, who would someday be a mural on your wall.

Why this wishful thinking now, you wonder? I was at the store, buying myself some anti-wrinkle cream and sunscreen – yes, for myself – and then this kid trotted in, holding her Mum’s hand – and they got baby shampoo and I couldn’t help thinking, Dude, I miss that.

No, not the baby shampoo – the holding hands with a parent and walking that way. Get serious here, I’m trying to talk!

Remember the times you could get away with wearing strappy little dresses, the straps falling off and people would go, Aww she’s so cute? The freckles that never were anything but a additive on your cuteness. The mass of unruly curls that looked pretty. And nobody would say you were having a bad hair day?

Remember this?

image
And then we really grew up.

I want to go back to all that. Being a kid. All over again. Now that I’m hitting 24, I’m freaking out. “Freaking out” doesn’t even come close to summing it up – this, how I feel.

Soon, I’ll be expected to have little Sooches. How do I handle kiddies, when I can’t even cross the road on my own? I’m jealous of Peter Pan – he never has to go through the pangs of growing up, the transition into adulthood is something he’s never gonna have to face, he doesn’t have to deal with puberty and secret heartaches. Doesn’t have to give in to peer pressure. Nobody makes fun of his crazy outfit – there was this one time I wore green and people said, Woman, you look like a effing tree. He doesn’t have to worry about body-image, adult acne, mood swings, binge eating. Which I have to. How crappy is that?

Need I say more? Growing up sucks literal bananas.

image
I'm in pieces, y'all.

I wish I were Peter Pan!

Sometimes I hate Disney for all the things he’s put me through. People who won’t grow up. Princesses with hair like that. Guys with chins so chiseled, you could cut diamonds with them. *sigh*

Advertisements

61 thoughts on “Half-Baked Psychobabble.

  1. SPOILER ALERT:
    This is how your comments are gonna go for this post. You’re gonna get young people like you and me agreeing that growing up is terrible and that we just want to go back to the safety and innocence of our childhood. Also, you’re going to get people way older than you saying “you’re still so young”. And in both cases you’ll agree with them.

    Now for my real comment: The pause button on remotes should also work for real life.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Tell me about it. My growing wisdom tooth hurts! πŸ˜₯ And I don’t enjoy getting up late after midnight just to have dinner with parents (it’s fasting season!) but….what happened? What had REALLY happened as we grew older? D:

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Literally! Cant we ??? i am going to be 23 and i am going to be an oldiee
    The nightmare haunts me and what’s even worse is a baby sister wearing so chic clothing and dressing up like a hottie (she is 8) and everybody praising ..πŸ˜£πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜›Age is about appearance not numbers so just FEEL Good πŸ™‚ i try doing this :p

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m on the same tune… Self denial.. 😭😭 I can’t be 27… Eeeeeppss 😭and I’ve bought wrinkle creams too..
    One buffoony day,while I was picking up an anti wrinkle cream… The pesky executive came up and said,” ma’am you don’t look a day over 30…” And b4 she could complete her liner,I cut her out with”‘That’s because I’m notπŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜’πŸ˜’”
    I hate the ordeals that come with the age package.. πŸ˜–πŸ˜–πŸ˜–

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Ok I totally agree that the wistful longing for childhood can get to be overwhelming at times in your 20s. I certainly remember that! However, Sooch, and all the rest of you 20 somethings on the comments here… I want to reassure you that it DOES get easier! I am solidly in my 30s now, having turned 36 in March. With each passing year after about 32, I have gotten ever more confidant and comfortable in my own skin. I tossed out the anti wrinkle cream *gasp*, I wear a bikini if I want to, I laugh too loudly, cry too easily and really don’t care what anyone thinks about me. I live my life for myself. It took a long time to get to this point of being satisfied and comfortable in my own skin, but I assure you all, that day will come. β™‘β™‘β™‘ M

    Liked by 2 people

      1. The fear is VERY real! You will get there babe! I love love love you right back! β™‘ xoxo you keep being awesome too!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. This was definitely funny.I know I shouldn’t laugh at your…umm,pain,but I detest birthdays and mine just went,so I don’t really have to give a damn about it for a solid year.
    But anyway,happy birthday in advance.πŸ’‹
    (I guess you don’t want to be wished,going by the rant huh?:/)
    By the way,anti-wrinkle cream at 24?That sure is a terrifying thought.-.-

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cute… You panic very well for one so young…

    Since I’m now officially old myself, I’ll avoid any cliche responses, merely suggesting one attitude change which may help, and one practical technique which may also solve the issue…

    First, axiom #2 of Peruaosophy: The nature of the Universe is Change. Innovative, unpredictable transformation of Reality is the Norm. If you have a problem with this, you’re in for a rough ride in Life.

    This means, in short; it’s your choice, young paduan. You can give in to peer pressure, and assume all the guilt, and feel bad about time passing… Or, you can refuse that attitude. and learn to enjoy each passing moment for what it has to share in the way of joy, or surprise….

    The technique is a simple one: use the Hobbit method of celebrating your birthday…. You have a big party, and give everyone a gift…. Then, the rest of the year, you GET a gift, whenever you go to another Hobbit’s birthday party…. One day of gift-buying hassle, but, with the pleasure of giving a lot all at once to your friends… and, then, a year of gifts from your friends… It always seemed to make more sense to me….

    The best part of it all is, whether we like it or not, well, there it is….

    πŸ˜‰

    Have some fun on your birthday, milady…. & remember to NOT drink so much you forget the good parts….

    gigoid, the dubious

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Paul had predicted this would happen!!

      And this hobbit thing sounds cool, but my friends are a bunch of people who believe in vodka and nothing else. Hahahaa. So I’ll probably sit at home and watch the movie I downloaded, because I don’t booze. Or smoke. I’m anti-fun and probably the official grandma blogger. Yes I know there are fun grandmas – I’m not one of them. Hahaha!!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Well, perhaps not, but, by avoiding the vodka and smoke, you will have a better chance to be one… It’s kinda fun, actually… being a grandparent, that is… Life, too, for that matter…

        πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  8. When I was turning 24 I … I can’t remember! No kidding!!

    No lectures about how you should be feeling, LR. You should be feeling exactly how you’re feeling.

    So.

    Now, now. You’ll be OK. I swear.

    And, furthermore. Little Soochies don’t have to come for another 10 or 12 years if you don’t want. Just saying. It’s true! Look it up, you’re a doctor. ❀

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Listen… found you on instagram/ whether you like it or not your serving as my muse….. faces like yours are rare finds and provide plenty of line and pastels..

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s