People tell me I’m strong. That’s a load of codswallop dumplings floating in bullcrap gravy, if you ask me. I’m not strong. I’m a weak wimpy wimp. I’m terrified of confrontations. Hence my pretend strong and silent exterior.

Gotcha.

I am anything but silent. Miles from it. As if you didn’t know.

I’ll tell you ten tale-tell signs. People miss that. So yeah, THAT’S today’s BIG SEXY ARSE BLOG POST – HOW TO TELL APART THE NOT-OKAY-SOOCH FROM THE OKAY-SOOCH. Even though nobody really needs to read this moronicness. I’ve basically lost my funny bone and this was what I could come up with.

1. It’s been TEN WHOLE DAYS since I’ve eaten ice cream. And I basically eat ice cream for breakfast. Which is saying something.

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You'd think I was doing this.

2. I reply in monosyllables to every text message I get.

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I totally make people feel this way.

3. I have an actual playlist called Not-Okay-Sooch, comprising eighteen sad/depressing songs, which I listen to on repeat. I obviously HAD to prove my point:

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That's a syringe emoji. As in injecting myself with sad songs.

Thank you, Fall out boy, Mumford and Sons, Imagine Dragons, Mayday Parade. Basically, thank God for music. (I was gonna have epic typo right here – my phone auto-corrected “music” to “mucus”. Ew.)

4. I go on a broll. Blog roll. Constant posting. And I cling to my blog space like an emotional lifeboat. How pathetic can anyone get?

5. I wander into tattoo parlors, momentarily having forgotten about my phobia of needles – and chicken out at the last minute.

6. Then there’s the constant fighting with the MOMSTER. Ugh, ugh. I’ve complained enough, I know, I sound whiney, I know, but I can’t help it.

7. I get dolled up – and stay in and read Gone With the Wind. *sigh*

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...and suffer from epic selfie fails.

8. I stay up like a demented owl. I’ve done this for two weeks in a row – no sleep at all.

9. I depress everyone around me. This is the point where y’all unfollow my blog.

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Me. Me. Me.

10. I obsessively buy shoes. I’ve bought seven pairs this past week. Gulp.

Are you still with me? *emotional sobbing gradually graduating to full-on bawling*

Also, whoa.

At a scale of one to Kardashian, I’m at Kardashian level of self-obsession. This is new. And weird. And nuttier than crunchy peanut butter. OMG. Reminds me. Be right back. Gotta fix myself a sandwich.

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71 thoughts on “10 Signs I’m Not Okay

      1. I already am. Haha.

        No, actually I’m jealous. I’d love to shop that much, too. But if I do, my mom will kick me out of the house and ask me to earn my own money for all the shopping, lol.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Lost your funny bone! Thank far from it, the one to Kardashian scale is outstanding. Obviously, I want you to be feeling better, however, at times when you’re not please try restrain from encounters with the momster as she appears to detect the signs, and importantly go brolling away. Great work ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Another night owl here. Last night I was binging through True Detective for 8 hours in a row. When it got over, I realized it’s 6am ๐Ÿ˜›
    Tonight also, still wide awake and browsing random stuff. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Haha ok two cups on the way. I don’t really have a preference when it comes to sandwich…it just has to be edible ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

        Liked by 1 person

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