We’ve all done dumb ish in college. Own up.

Me? I’ve dated crazy punksters with Ind-fros (Indian version of the Afro), cut Anatomy class to watch a movie that turned out so porny – and it’s NOT a good way of teaching kids Anatomy, you know? – it made your eyes water (yes I’m warming up to words like “porny”), I’ve done – oh you name it, I’ve done it.

Including passive weed smoking and excluding The Full Monty.

It totally made me wonder- what if I’d ended up together with some of the people I’ve dated? I’d be:

1. An expert in TaeKwonDo.

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Can this get any more perfect?

2. A hairdresser.

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Yup. That'd be me.

3. Pro at making pot-brownines.

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4. A raging alcoholic.

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5. Trying to set fire to motorcycle showrooms.

6. Margo Roth Spiegelman.

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*sigh*

7. Honeymooning in Italian vineyards.

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Again. *sigh*

8. A hippie.

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9. Divorced at 22.

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10. The owner of my very own makeup brand already. It had a name with a hash tag. Yes, with a hash tag. Do NOT laugh. I was pretty serious about this.

11. An expert at snogging.

12. A permanent resident at House of Unstable B*tches.

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But honestly, now I’m like:

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And now that I’ve told you some of my dirty secrets, I feel super relieved.

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Don't judge.

Whew.

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112 thoughts on “What If

      1. Hahahahaha that’s what you keep telling yourself…some people have antidotes to your toxics….what was it again??? Poison ivy or poison what

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahaha how did you not know what uglies is??? At least enema is a medical term and no i am not a doctor….i see its tit for tat

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Funny stuff, indeed; I’m glad it’s mostly jokes… otherwise, #12 might be all-too-real…

    😉

    Also gotta say, the girl in #7 (the vacuous blonde…)…. from the standpoint of a connoisseur of beauty, she’s just way too skinny…. In spite of what TV says, men don’t really think seeing tendons is very attractive; most of us like a bit less definition than an anorexic usually shows…

    Just sayin’….

    gigoid

    😎

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ind-fros. Giggles. So much cooler-sounding than wiggers.

    Just the other day someone called me a hommie. I was like, thanks Malc-X but the civil war and 2pac are passe as cultural trends, go read about dravidian politics!

    Liked by 1 person

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