We’ve all done dumb ish in college. Own up.
Me? I’ve dated crazy punksters with Ind-fros (Indian version of the Afro), cut Anatomy class to watch a movie that turned out so porny – and it’s NOT a good way of teaching kids Anatomy, you know? – it made your eyes water (yes I’m warming up to words like “porny”), I’ve done – oh you name it, I’ve done it.
Including passive weed smoking and excluding The Full Monty.
It totally made me wonder- what if I’d ended up together with some of the people I’ve dated? I’d be:
1. An expert in TaeKwonDo.
2. A hairdresser.
3. Pro at making pot-brownines.
4. A raging alcoholic.
5. Trying to set fire to motorcycle showrooms.
6. Margo Roth Spiegelman.
7. Honeymooning in Italian vineyards.
8. A hippie.
9. Divorced at 22.
10. The owner of my very own makeup brand already. It had a name with a hash tag. Yes, with a hash tag. Do NOT laugh. I was pretty serious about this.
11. An expert at snogging.
12. A permanent resident at House of Unstable B*tches.
But honestly, now I’m like:
And now that I’ve told you some of my dirty secrets, I feel super relieved.