We’ve all done dumb ish in college. Own up.

Me? I’ve dated crazy punksters with Ind-fros (Indian version of the Afro), cut Anatomy class to watch a movie that turned out so porny – and it’s NOT a good way of teaching kids Anatomy, you know? – it made your eyes water (yes I’m warming up to words like “porny”), I’ve done – oh you name it, I’ve done it.

Including passive weed smoking and excluding The Full Monty.

It totally made me wonder- what if I’d ended up together with some of the people I’ve dated? I’d be:

1. An expert in TaeKwonDo.

Can this get any more perfect?

2. A hairdresser.

Yup. That'd be me.

3. Pro at making pot-brownines.


4. A raging alcoholic.


5. Trying to set fire to motorcycle showrooms.

6. Margo Roth Spiegelman.


7. Honeymooning in Italian vineyards.

Again. *sigh*

8. A hippie.


9. Divorced at 22.


10. The owner of my very own makeup brand already. It had a name with a hash tag. Yes, with a hash tag. Do NOT laugh. I was pretty serious about this.

11. An expert at snogging.

12. A permanent resident at House of Unstable B*tches.


But honestly, now I’m like:


And now that I’ve told you some of my dirty secrets, I feel super relieved.

Don't judge.



112 thoughts on “What If

      1. Hahahahaha that’s what you keep telling yourself…some people have antidotes to your toxics….what was it again??? Poison ivy or poison what

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahaha how did you not know what uglies is??? At least enema is a medical term and no i am not a doctor….i see its tit for tat

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Funny stuff, indeed; I’m glad it’s mostly jokes… otherwise, #12 might be all-too-real…


    Also gotta say, the girl in #7 (the vacuous blonde…)…. from the standpoint of a connoisseur of beauty, she’s just way too skinny…. In spite of what TV says, men don’t really think seeing tendons is very attractive; most of us like a bit less definition than an anorexic usually shows…

    Just sayin’….



    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ind-fros. Giggles. So much cooler-sounding than wiggers.

    Just the other day someone called me a hommie. I was like, thanks Malc-X but the civil war and 2pac are passe as cultural trends, go read about dravidian politics!

    Liked by 1 person

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