I have a lot of questions. Starting with this one. What’s wrong with me being me? Looking into the mirror, I see ten billion flaws. My nose ain’t right. I’m fat. My brows ain’t symmetrical. My teeth look tacky. But, get this. I love the fact that I’m not perfect. I can’t be Tyra Banks. No matter how hard I try.
Why do I have to do stuff to please other people? Always? From what I can tell, the Lord Almighty did not put us on earth (with a little help from our parents) to be people-pleasers. So why is it wrong to say “No”?
Sometimes I like my own space. My own headspace. I like to connect with myself. Why is it that friends choose my “me” time to pester me to go hang out with them at the world’s booziest place? Why is it that if I refuse, I’ll be left with no friends at all? How many friends does one need in their lives? I too had best friends once, and they found rich significant others and left. So why does it make me a jerk if I sometimes refuse to do what makes me unhappy?
How is it okay that everyone gets allowances for their bad bahavior, and people actually get them but when it comes to me, I draw a blank? Is it okay to be a doormat and let everyone walk all over you? Maybe I attract the wrong crowd. Maybe it’s definitely ME that’s damaged. When I’m screwed up, that’s the real me – and nobody wants it. They say I’m crabby, shallow and self-centered. That I don’t care. But how is it okay to force myself to do stuff I don’t want to? Why is it always necessary that I pretend to be okay with everything – or risk being judged? Why?
How do you learn to say NO?