I’m a terrible person. That’s a given. I’m selfish and mean and I justify everything I do. I’m sure nobody else does that. I’m sure I’m the only one suffering from strange things like separation anxiety and other fancy crap.

Welcome to blogpisode #13 of WTF Wednesday! How are we all doing today? I’m suffering from toothache very well, thanks.

No, seriously, I’m ginormously peachy. Apart from the fact that I’ve got three and a half wisdom teeth. And that my lower jaw is preggers with it’s very first, last and only monster tooth. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.

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Also, no thank you.

The time I got my wisdom tooth #1, I couldn’t open my mouth to yawn. Or bite into burgers. Or in general, live. I freaked. Obviously. I thought, “Oh my goodness, I’m getting tetanus!” You know, with the lock-jaw-feeling and everything. I thought I was too late and might have missed my tetanus shots as a kid or something. The DQ that I am, I had to ask Dad about it and he just laughed in my face.

It meant a visit to the dentist. The first one I went to was a annoyingly b*tchy lady whose methods sucked bananas and wore banana pants. I kid you not. And I’m not sorry I bit her when her hand was getting too frisky in my mouth. Incidentally, she was also the woman who did such a bad job on one of my molars, at age 15, that I now have no crown on that mothereffing molar. She probably root-canal-ed all the way to my sinuses. I don’t know.

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Did I mention, her office smelled like Death in a smelly jumpsuit?

Back go the present. I’m currently the owner of giant chipmunk cheeks. I feel pretty sexy, I tell you. Something like this.

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Oh yeah. Like Eleanor from the Chipettes.

Major brownie points? I get ice cream and pain meds. And I can be as b*tchy as I want. Me likey that! Maybe I’ll also get one of those $90 new matte Christian Louboutin lipsticks. Just because. (Yes, I also realize I’ve to part with at least one of my amazingly functional kidneys, so I can afford such pricey makeup. Any buyers?)

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But hey, it's lipstick. And gosh, look at the packaging!

Who else hates dentists? And how did you deal with wisdom tooth ache?

(Image credits: Google.)

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36 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday – #13

  1. My dentists are pretty great.. And I don’t need to remove my wisdom teeth! The pain was alright, I think I only needed a painkiller once or twice. My fiancรฉ though… He’ll need to pull all of them…. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, he’s cute when he’s needy….. And he sleeps a lot when he’s in pain.. And I get to pamper him… And he’ll probably lose some weight. All I see are pros. ๐Ÿ˜›

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I like my dentist, I must if I’m giving him more money than buying a new car. I remember when I got my wisdom teeth pulled I had a bad reaction and went double chipmunk cheek. The dentist laughed when he saw me a week later and said, “Wow, I didn’t think human cheeks can get that big!” In other words, you have my empathy.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Those wisdom teeth are a pain in the arse! It’s taken mine more than a decade to come through, and when they do they hurt like hell. ๐Ÿ˜ I also have a phobia of the dentist (which stems from early childhood) Well, actually, I had more of a phobia of the chair… So much so, I wouldn’t step foot into the dentists ‘office’, or go anywhere need that mechanical-freaky-ass-chair and he had to do my check up’s in the waiting room for many years! (Yep. In front of an audience!) ๐Ÿ˜ I’m not so bad now. I sit in the chair and everything!

    Anyway, completely going off point! I hope your hamster cheeks go down. Can’t be fun!

    Funny post. Loved the meme’s, too! I actually feel bad about laughing at your expense. ๐Ÿ˜ I’m sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ‘sucked bananas and wore banana pants’? Why thank you for the mention.
    The Slacker looks terrible, even with that cartoon drawing representing it.
    Gah!
    I haven’t gotten my wisdom teeth yet, now I don’t want them. dentists, not my favorite people.
    I’ll show this post to a friend of mine who was supposed to get braces today, get her more freaked out.
    And WHY can’t Ryan Gosling just keep his shirt on?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome.
      I agree. But look, that slacker is kinda cute. Real life ones? Crrrrrwwwweeepaaaay.
      I know. Ugh!
      You’re lucky. Pray you don’t get them. My cousin is 31 and she’s still wisdom-teeth-free. Dentists are the WORST.
      *Evil cackle* show this to your friend right away! Let’s freak her our more. Bwahahhaha.
      Ryan Gosling with a shirt on would be like perpetual state of cloudiness. Nobody wants that!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I thought I was growing mine a few years ago, but it was a false alarm. I still shudder when I see my dentist, even if he just comes over to say hello. He says ‘hi’, I say “I’ve been flossing, man! Would you just let it go already? Damn!”

        I’ll never understand why girls go crazy over that. I assume it’s what I feel when Beyonce lets her hair down.

        Liked by 1 person

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