I’m a terrible person. That’s a given. I’m selfish and mean and I justify everything I do. I’m sure nobody else does that. I’m sure I’m the only one suffering from strange things like separation anxiety and other fancy crap.

Welcome to blogpisode #13 of WTF Wednesday! How are we all doing today? I’m suffering from toothache very well, thanks.

No, seriously, I’m ginormously peachy. Apart from the fact that I’ve got three and a half wisdom teeth. And that my lower jaw is preggers with it’s very first, last and only monster tooth. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.

Also, no thank you.

The time I got my wisdom tooth #1, I couldn’t open my mouth to yawn. Or bite into burgers. Or in general, live. I freaked. Obviously. I thought, “Oh my goodness, I’m getting tetanus!” You know, with the lock-jaw-feeling and everything. I thought I was too late and might have missed my tetanus shots as a kid or something. The DQ that I am, I had to ask Dad about it and he just laughed in my face.

It meant a visit to the dentist. The first one I went to was a annoyingly b*tchy lady whose methods sucked bananas and wore banana pants. I kid you not. And I’m not sorry I bit her when her hand was getting too frisky in my mouth. Incidentally, she was also the woman who did such a bad job on one of my molars, at age 15, that I now have no crown on that mothereffing molar. She probably root-canal-ed all the way to my sinuses. I don’t know.

Did I mention, her office smelled like Death in a smelly jumpsuit?

Back go the present. I’m currently the owner of giant chipmunk cheeks. I feel pretty sexy, I tell you. Something like this.

Oh yeah. Like Eleanor from the Chipettes.

Major brownie points? I get ice cream and pain meds. And I can be as b*tchy as I want. Me likey that! Maybe I’ll also get one of those $90 new matte Christian Louboutin lipsticks. Just because. (Yes, I also realize I’ve to part with at least one of my amazingly functional kidneys, so I can afford such pricey makeup. Any buyers?)

But hey, it's lipstick. And gosh, look at the packaging!

Who else hates dentists? And how did you deal with wisdom tooth ache?

(Image credits: Google.)


36 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday – #13

  1. My dentists are pretty great.. And I don’t need to remove my wisdom teeth! The pain was alright, I think I only needed a painkiller once or twice. My fiancรฉ though… He’ll need to pull all of them…. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, he’s cute when he’s needy….. And he sleeps a lot when he’s in pain.. And I get to pamper him… And he’ll probably lose some weight. All I see are pros. ๐Ÿ˜›

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I like my dentist, I must if I’m giving him more money than buying a new car. I remember when I got my wisdom teeth pulled I had a bad reaction and went double chipmunk cheek. The dentist laughed when he saw me a week later and said, “Wow, I didn’t think human cheeks can get that big!” In other words, you have my empathy.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Those wisdom teeth are a pain in the arse! It’s taken mine more than a decade to come through, and when they do they hurt like hell. ๐Ÿ˜ I also have a phobia of the dentist (which stems from early childhood) Well, actually, I had more of a phobia of the chair… So much so, I wouldn’t step foot into the dentists ‘office’, or go anywhere need that mechanical-freaky-ass-chair and he had to do my check up’s in the waiting room for many years! (Yep. In front of an audience!) ๐Ÿ˜ I’m not so bad now. I sit in the chair and everything!

    Anyway, completely going off point! I hope your hamster cheeks go down. Can’t be fun!

    Funny post. Loved the meme’s, too! I actually feel bad about laughing at your expense. ๐Ÿ˜ I’m sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ‘sucked bananas and wore banana pants’? Why thank you for the mention.
    The Slacker looks terrible, even with that cartoon drawing representing it.
    I haven’t gotten my wisdom teeth yet, now I don’t want them. dentists, not my favorite people.
    I’ll show this post to a friend of mine who was supposed to get braces today, get her more freaked out.
    And WHY can’t Ryan Gosling just keep his shirt on?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome.
      I agree. But look, that slacker is kinda cute. Real life ones? Crrrrrwwwweeepaaaay.
      I know. Ugh!
      You’re lucky. Pray you don’t get them. My cousin is 31 and she’s still wisdom-teeth-free. Dentists are the WORST.
      *Evil cackle* show this to your friend right away! Let’s freak her our more. Bwahahhaha.
      Ryan Gosling with a shirt on would be like perpetual state of cloudiness. Nobody wants that!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I thought I was growing mine a few years ago, but it was a false alarm. I still shudder when I see my dentist, even if he just comes over to say hello. He says ‘hi’, I say “I’ve been flossing, man! Would you just let it go already? Damn!”

        I’ll never understand why girls go crazy over that. I assume it’s what I feel when Beyonce lets her hair down.

        Liked by 1 person

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