You’d think happiness is the only thing you could ever want. Or need. You couldn’t be more wrong. There’s this other little thing that we all really want, which we overlook – it tops our list of wants, and our list of needs. Any guesses?
I’m talking about the five letter word, peace.
Most of us only ever want to be happy. How do you expect to actually be happy if you aren’t at peace? If you’re constantly at war with your own emotions? When you might be sleeping, but you’re running a marathon in your dreams? How many times has your sleep been punctuated by nightmares and you’ve sat up, broken into cold sweat and pressed your palms into your face trying to calm the f*ck down?
A million times? Ten million? I bet.
Here’s what I don’t understand: who set the rules? Who wrote down the bloody code of conduct (if you will)? Why should what I WANT be subjected to scrutiny from my family? The whole entire society? And why do I have to listen to what people say? Why should I cut back on all that keeps by brain healthy? And then it begins. The battle with myself.
It’s like there’s this grappling pair of aliens on my shoulders. One of them is called Peace and the other one, P*ss, and they get confused as to which one I’m talking to. That’s when all Hell breaks loose. I want Peace and all I get is P*ss and she – yes, it’s a woman, I ain’t letting men park their icky butts on my shoulders – does her erm, job on everything. I’ll say, “I want Peace for one single solitary moment in my life, Mum!” And lo and behold, the whole situation has been P*ssed on.
Like, take for instance – this morning Mum wanted me to wear these ridiculously blingy flats to the hospital. And I didn’t want to. And of course she made me and yay, laughing stock in the
house hospital. Asked for Peace, got P*ssed on. (You might notice that I’m trying to make a crappy situation funny, and failing miserably.)
Also, let’s take a moment to appreciate how cute I was, back in 1991, shall we?
What’s more important, you think? Do you agree with me?
Inspired by many, many of the heart to heart conversations with S.