Guess what, people?
My personality seems to have sprouted a few heads. I’m this vain DQ that can’t function without lipstick – suddenly – and it’s alarming.
Just this morning, at work, I might have reapplied my lipstick five times and might have gotten the evil eye from patients. Which would explain the running into some random door, which seemed to have materialized outta nowhere, exactly ten seconds later, while I was – you guessed it – reapplying my lipliner.
I promise you I wasn’t even this crazy about what my face looked like, until last month.
And then I hit a 1110 plus followers on Instagram and I turned into this hey-look-at-me hobo. I mean, just look at me trying to be Kim Kardashian. Even the un-smiling-ness is totally on point. (Random fact: she doesn’t smile in pictures because it causes premature laugh lines, apparently. Ooh.)
That does not change the fact that I look like, forty. Dear God. Excuse my rambling, I’m just hopped up on coffee and I thought I’d address the issue of my hey-look-at-me-fication and sorta apologize for talking so much crap. Also, something super crappy happened yesterday. I don’t understand how to deal with stubborn parents.
My dad who turned 54 yesterday, won’t stop working out. He totally slipped and hit his leg and arm and there’s like this ginormous lesion on his leg and he made me swear I wouldn’t tell Mum. Because she would probably freak out so much so she’d give herself an aneurysm. And now I’m stuck in the rut, and it doesn’t help things when he says stuff like, “RELAX. I didn’t hit my head.”
And I super love my Dad. He’s the funniest and the randomest person I know – heck, he dances to Kanye and Eminem songs just to make me smile when I’m sad. But when he does stuff like hurt himself and not get tetanus shots, because doctors make the WORST patients on earth, I can’t even…
And I can’t even go home to see him. (I’m broke from buying makeup.) I’m sorry for the random rant, I had to get it all out. Because, you can see my shiny scalp and my forehead receding and I can NOT AFFORD TO lose any more hair. How do y’all deal with stubborn parents and stress?
Tickets to my freakshow, anyone?