Yes. You read the title right.

I’ve ghost written love letters multiple times. What with being a “writer” and all.

In my first semester of med school, I had to write love letters for a classmate, which then she’d copy onto fancy stationery, and send them to her boyfriend. I’m not kidding when I say that the said classmate only had the looks. Which goes to show how God doesn’t make anyone a perfect package of everything.

Moving on.

I’m going to sound quite b*tchy, so brace yourselves.

This girl comes to college toting a high school boyfriend like a cute accessory. Guy leaves. She stays back. A long distance thing begins. This calls for a stream of letters, mushy talk and gift ideas. Cue: Me. We weren’t friends back then, Girl and I. More like dorm-floor mates? Is that even a thing? She was stuck with my roommate and I was stuck with her. Something like a roommate in-law. If that makes sense.

One day, I’m just sitting there in Biochemistry class, taking notes (doodling mindlessly) when she passes me a note. “Hi! Need help.” I shrug, OK.

And bam! Official first friend. Now, I didn’t know that I was soon going to be the Official Stupid Girl of the class, who’d help anyone and end up wasting her own time and flunking the next semester. So anyway, she tells me it’s her boyfriend’s birthday, so could I please write a love letter for her, which she’d then copy onto this very girly pink sheet of paper?

Dear God.

So I wrote. She told me the summary, which I turned into a florid and torrid sticky mass of ornamental sugariness that would totally embarrass a cupcake. Ooh, and then news spread. (I’m sure this meant I was in a relationship with everyone’s boyfriends. God, I’m a slut!)

Special mention? My ghostwriting expanded. To portraits. People would get me to draw stuff and put their signature at the bottom and take all the credit. Looking back, it makes me sound super pathetic. I know. Things I did just to have a few friends!

Okay. Durga Pooja is almost here and my Mum’s acting crazy, trying to get me to pick either of these. She wants me to get the one with the green shawl thingamajig so she can steal the shawl later. Which one should I get, y’all?

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Both are by Preeti S Kapoor, available on Jabong.com. In case you're wondering.

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29 thoughts on “Ghost Writing Love Letters.

      1. Just think you are a humanitarian. That´s what I always say about myself. Even if I screw up, I manage to turn it into me being the humanitarian. Sometimes it works, other times it gives place for humour. So it also works since by saying my ridiculous things I´m making people happy and laughing and when people are happy there is less posibility of wars, so I´m saving the planet from more destruction…. see?

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Dorm-floor-mates? Roommate-in-law? I have a feeling those may be actual things. i run into them all the time.
    What is Durga Pooja anyway? I want a personalized response that Google won’t give me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Those are actual things!

      Okay, so Durga Pooja is like THE event of the year, in west Bengal, India. Durga is the one of the most powerful Goddesses in the Hindu mythology and the festival lasts for ten whole days. It’s amazing.

      Liked by 1 person

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