Yes. You read the title right.
I’ve ghost written love letters multiple times. What with being a “writer” and all.
In my first semester of med school, I had to write love letters for a classmate, which then she’d copy onto fancy stationery, and send them to her boyfriend. I’m not kidding when I say that the said classmate only had the looks. Which goes to show how God doesn’t make anyone a perfect package of everything.
I’m going to sound quite b*tchy, so brace yourselves.
This girl comes to college toting a high school boyfriend like a cute accessory. Guy leaves. She stays back. A long distance thing begins. This calls for a stream of letters, mushy talk and gift ideas. Cue: Me. We weren’t friends back then, Girl and I. More like dorm-floor mates? Is that even a thing? She was stuck with my roommate and I was stuck with her. Something like a roommate in-law. If that makes sense.
One day, I’m just sitting there in Biochemistry class, taking notes (doodling mindlessly) when she passes me a note. “Hi! Need help.” I shrug, OK.
And bam! Official first friend. Now, I didn’t know that I was soon going to be the Official Stupid Girl of the class, who’d help anyone and end up wasting her own time and flunking the next semester. So anyway, she tells me it’s her boyfriend’s birthday, so could I please write a love letter for her, which she’d then copy onto this very girly pink sheet of paper?
So I wrote. She told me the summary, which I turned into a florid and torrid sticky mass of ornamental sugariness that would totally embarrass a cupcake. Ooh, and then news spread. (I’m sure this meant I was in a relationship with everyone’s boyfriends. God, I’m a slut!)
Special mention? My ghostwriting expanded. To portraits. People would get me to draw stuff and put their signature at the bottom and take all the credit. Looking back, it makes me sound super pathetic. I know. Things I did just to have a few friends!
Okay. Durga Pooja is almost here and my Mum’s acting crazy, trying to get me to pick either of these. She wants me to get the one with the green shawl thingamajig so she can steal the shawl later. Which one should I get, y’all?