Did y’all happen to catch the Season Premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel? Friggin’ good-looking cast. Spearheaded *insert dramatic hand gesture* by Matt Bomer. Holy ravioli.
Welcome to a brand new blogpisode of WTF Wednesday, and today we are talking about all the absurdity going on, on popular television.
First off, suddenly it’s all about naked people. Everywhere. Naked men, specifically. You’re watching this TV show, and then suddenly there are butt cheeks on the damn screen. (I am not complaining about Matt Bomer’s hindquarters, mind you). But then how the HECK are you supposed to react when you’re watching AHS and your Mother walks in on you?! It’s like being caught doing some form of The Unmentionables. I tried to snap my damn laptop shut, of course, but my amazingly nice and completely not nosey Mum (I am kidding, twerps) thought I was watching, in her words, “extreme erotica”. And she tackled me. My ancient Mommy tackled me, y’all.
And there went my Wednesday. Ugh.
I’m not finished. She sat down and decided to watch the whole entire episode with me. As if my life wasn’t traumatizing enough. Ugh! This is the point where I ask y’all to stop my beating heart, pull the trigger, yada yada yada.
And then she goes, “He looks amazing with kohl on.” Oh dear God.
And then, mercifully, she had to go because someone rang the doorbell. Literally saved by the bell, there. Thank you, doorbells. And thus, my fellow bloggers, I didn’t end up having to watch the horrendously gory foursome sex scene with my Mum. (Oh, the horror!)
Next, Lady Gaga seems to be rocking some crazy eyebrows. And some crazy makeup. But that’s okay, we’re used to lady Gaga wearing weird hair and pasties, right? Just when I’m getting used to all that skin show, she’s sliced open this guy’s jugular. Oh. My. God.
And before I sign off, let me quickly rant about Sleepy Hollow, I loathe Katrina Crane from the core of my butt (since we’re talking butt-ies, la la, yep, that Tove Lo song – Talking Body – is still stuck in my head) and I’m so happy she’s not made an appearance in season three yet. I hope she NEVER COMES BACK. Bloody waste of space.
Meanwhile, Nikki Reed looks fabulous as Betsy Ross. But she needs to stay away from Ichabod Crane. I’m all about Ichabbie, anyway.
How’s your day lookin’?