I’ve been Instagrammin’ like crazy. I don’t know, the rush of the followers gets to you, I suppose.
For starters, I NEVER know what to post. I just go with my very smirky face. I don’t know how to take good pictures, either. Obviously. I’m not a professional. I’ve never claimed to be. Nor am I a beauty blogger. Not even half an amateur. I’m worse. Finally, I don’t know what hashtags to use. Not on Instagram, not on WordPress. It’s been eight months since I’ve been blogging and I STILL DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
Anyway. Back to my weird Instagram, there was this one time I posted a picture of me rocking a nude lipstick. ‘Cause that’s the phrase girls use. (You get what I mean, don’t you? I wasn’t rocking anything. I was majorly ugly. But anyway.) So I used ten billion hash tags, “#nudelip” among one of them, only my phone changed it to “#nude.” And yours truly, being blinder than a drunk bat wearing sunglasses in the middle of a hailstorm, didn’t proof read the caption.
My phone blew up. Literally. There were so many followers within the span of five minutes. And comments. All mentioning nasty stuff about my “pretty little mouth.” I also got quite a few direct messages asking me why I was fully clothed in a photo with the hash tag “nude.” Uh oh. Dear God. What had I started?!
The first thing I did was remove that photo. Then I made my account private. The number of new followers went down to zero in two weeks, whew. I still get messages though. Asking me weirdly personal questions, the top of the list being, “Are you virgin?”. (No I am not. I lost my head when the ginormous Bailey and Love textbook boned me in the butt. Which also makes me a hooker. Thanks.) Seriously, what’s with some some prople and their insatiable curiosity about some girl’s sex life? You wanna know about mine? My boyfriend lives on Mars, so that’s one HELL of a sex drive and flight and rocket to outer space. Also, I’d always thought virgin and extra-virgin only mattered if you were talking about olive oil! How did sex even come into this!?
People are just crazy. I’m even crazier for bloody ranting about it. Talk about being jobless. Oh well.