Apparently, monkeys aren’t the only ones that have a vendetta against me that happens to be the size of all the Kardashian butts combined. Since dogs have joined the club.
Welcome to this week’s WTF Wednesday and for once this ish ain’t funny.
I’ll get straight to the point. I mentioned yesterday about how a fellow blogger recommend the Concrete Angel song to me and how December didn’t start as beautifully as it was supposed to. So. Well.
I got chased by two stray dogs while I was doing my warm up jog. And I was on the phone with John and talking books and TV shows, normal and random things blogger pals talk about, when I felt something wet and pointy against my calf. When I looked down, it was a drooling black Devil dog, trying to bite/lick/make out with my leg, y’all.
I think I screamed loud enough to puncture John’s eardrums. I’m so sorry Johnny, I didn’t mean to be a banshee. But you see, there was a Devil dog attacking me!
I’ve never run so fast in my life. And what’s scary is there were people at the park. They saw me scream and run. Argh!
Thank God for kind people, though.
This kindly old gentlemen explained to me that the doggies only wanted to lick my facie (face). And maybe if I had bickie (biscuit) with me it would be okay! And he shooed the dog away. I thanked him profusely while sweating profusely as well, for ten whole minutes while John heard the whole entire conversion (read: screaming and heart attack) and laughed like a madman at my sorry butt.
He’s a meanie. I believe I need new blogger besties.
And for Christmas, I want eyes on the back of my head so doggies and piggies and monkeys don’t attack me. When I got home I asked my hyper critical mum if I smell like food or socks or anything that might attract stray animals. She literally ROFLTAO**-ed for what seemed like forever and finally calmed down to reassure me that I don’t.
Which is confusing because I smell nice and things come at me. I’m never going back to that park again. I’ll find a new place to jog in. Such a sad life.
**ROFLTAO – Rolling on the floor laughing that arse off.