I have a bunch of friends that are addicted to video games. And every time they ask me to join, I say no. They did push me into playing a couple times, and it wasn’t pretty. Now, if you were to make a list of stuff you’ve failed miserably at, what would you put at #1?

I’d put “Can’t play video games.”

It’s not like I’ve never tried my best. Because I have. And at one point I got distracted by the nuns in Hitman. And I’m not even gay. And then I gave up. And don’t even get me started on Asylum. I remember I lasted exactly eight seconds. That’s how bad I am.

So a friend and I were talking about activities y’all are supposed to do when in a relationship. And she told me that playing these crazy adrenaline-pumping games is apparently good for your sex life. *SAY WHAT?* I asked her to explain and she went, “because adrenaline! When you play together, you stay together, because the sex is so good!” She proceeded to elaborate on the matter. While my ears burned.

Yipes. All my friends are horny hornets. Adorable Horny Hornets.  AHHs. Aw, how cute!

Since I’m not getting either (video games AND sex), let’s talk about this hypothetical situation. Me. Boyfriend. His friends. We’re all playing. And then this happens. 

image

I'm not even kidding.

Because when I lose, I become The Delectable Hulk. Like an extremely cute version of the Hulk. That also swears like a trooper, I’m sorry to add. I’ll be cussing everyone. My favorite one happens to be something I got from an episode of True Detective and it’s awesome. Only, I’m not gonna tell y’all. *smirks* and because I’m a crazy woman and my emotions are like the pendulum – cold fish one day, positively writhing with whatever-the-ish the next (specially when I see Luke Bryan) – crap would hit the fan.

And then this would happen.

image

Until finally…

image

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghh!

And end of relationship. After which my life becomes Adele’s new song. Is anyone else obsessed with it, by the way? The other day Dad happened to call me and I answered with a “Hello, it’s me.” Plus I once typed a major portion of the song while texting Emmie *sigh* I’m damaged.

I have a list of twenty things I would LOVE to do with a potential boyfie. Does anyone wanna see? Then we can all laugh. No. ROFLMAO.

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10 thoughts on “WTF Wednesday – #23

  1. *Big grin*

    Good one; I can only say, “Now, THAT is ranting!”

    Brilliant. Pokes fun at yourself, others, society, and stupidity, while still maintaining that ‘edgy’ feeling brought on by a period of unwanted celibacy (a theme I could write a thesis on….but, that’s another story…)…. Good clean fun, and silly as hell, just for good measure….

    Thanks for the smiles….

    😀

    gigoid

    😎

    Liked by 1 person

      1. So is anyone who suffers it, yours truly included…. The trick is, as soon as we stop worrying over it, it usually happens naturally….

        Easier said than done, but, it’s the only logical, if you think about it.

        If we are ‘desperate’. it shows, and drives away potential partners. When we get to the point we are comfortable in our own skin, we become more approachable, and more attractive…

        So, the key is just to chill, and let life take care of itself….

        😉

        gigoid

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s a good thing, too…. I’m a realist, but, morality never hurts anyone, unless the morals are corrupted… I haven’t seen any evidence of that in you, so, no criticism implied, or intended….

        Voluntary celibacy is a whole different ball o’wax, my dear. Nothing wrong at all with it… In fact, in today’s world, it’s smart….

        Luv ya,

        gigoid

        Liked by 1 person

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