There’s this guy I work with. He puts the scary in ‘tall, dark and handsome.’ And this guy happens to keep asking me out. I’ve told him in a gazillion different ways that I’m not interested, but he just won’t listen.
So the other day he asked me what I was up to and I replied, “Pole dancing in Greenland.” Now, most guys would have run for the hills. Not this one. No, this one wants to stay attached to my hip. He wouldn’t even budge even when I mentioned that I happened to be engaged to a seven-foot-tall retina specialist. Nada.
He calls at ungodly hours. And when I don’t answer, he texts, “You’ve no feelings! You’re heartless.” Why do guys do this? Act clingy and blame the girl? When she doesn’t even like him?! This is the problem with most Indian men. They assume you wanna get cosy if you so much as say hi. Goodness. And this leads to so much drama!
Anyway. So yesterday, I was at lunch with my best friend and my Mum and this guy kept calling. My friend got so mad, he answered the phone. In his best British accent. (It’s actually posh, him being a Londoner and all.) No response from the other end.
The guy hung up and called again so I picked up. And he asked who’d answered my phone. I said it was my boyfriend who’d come down to visit me. From Texas. How ridiculous is that situation? A Texan with a British accent.
Obviously my game was up in 30 seconds. Now I need a can of glitter pepper spray. Glitter, for obvious reasons.