You know what takes work? Hard work? Being a good girl. You’re always supposed to be perfect and all princess prima donna. I can’t do that ish. Not anymore.

I’m not promoting bitchiness in any way, but I totally think that bitches have it so easy. Now if I were to turn into a full-blown, raging sort of a bitch, my life would get multiple times easier. Here’s why:

1. I could just snub people randomly, for no reason whatsoever. Because this is something a bitchy-bitch-bitch would do, and nobody would ask for an explanation.

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2. I could be self-obsessed and give Kim K a run for her money.

3. I could flirt with 362525127262 people and not question myself. Because I would have no conscience. And I could not care less about hurting people.

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4. I wouldn’t feel the need to explain to the world why I’m a certain way and why I look a certain way. Because then, everyone would accept me the way I was.

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5. I could have bipolar disorder without people asking me to “Dude, you gotta change.”

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6. I could wear my constipated face 24/7 and not have people ask me if I were miserable or if I actually had something stuck up my butt. Heck, nobody asks Kanye that and he’s still got such a following. #goYeezy

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7. I could switch my lifestyle choices and again, not have to offer anyone any sort of explanation.

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8. I would have books written featuring characters inspired by me. Long shot. But still.

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9. I could ignore texts from my closest friends with the lamest sort of excuses, ie, “I have a life, get out of my face. Go find another bitch to mollycoddle with. I have a lot on my plate, you jobless son of a fuck.” And when they’d get hurt because of my behavior, I’d just buy them a Gucci handbag because they’d be sorry sacks of crap that’d need treats thrown their way.

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10. I would have a boyfriend with no backbone who’d be useless as eff and stick with me cause I looked hot in photos.

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This was inspired from real life.

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50 thoughts on “Why It’s Easy

      1. That sucks banana’s!

        Perhaps it doesn’t want everyone to start using the phrase “sucks banana’s” ?! It’s muttering, “It wasn’t cool in the 90’s, it’s not cool now!”

        Liked by 1 person

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