The other day I was eating some very cheesy pizza for breakfast. And what does this woman do?

She just barges in, snatches the box from my hands, and throws it out the window right into our backyard.

(“Mum!”

“You’re getting too fat. We won’t get a nice boy for you!”

“Ugh!”)

Next thing I hear is loud ripping noises, and I rush to the window to see three 🐷🐷🐷 feasting on my very cheesy, pineapple topped pizza.

I hate 2016 already.

In other news, I finished three books off the Johnny Reads 2016 Reading Challenge and I gotta talk about the James Patterson book I read.

Guilty Wives has a fast-paced plot, the heroine Abbie Elliot is totally badass and feisty, there are 143 chapters and it’s definitely taken some inspiration from James Bond (you can see a “BUT” coming and here it is…)

The pick up lines SUCK, the sex-scenes were UGH, and completely way too unnecessary – like who needs to know if a movie star has cotton boxers on? Not to mention, chest hair. Oh, the horror. I wouldn’t make out with a dude sporting the Amazon rainforest on his chestal area, just saying.

This book also taught me three valuable life lessons:

☝ Don’t marry any diplomats.

✌ Don’t cheat on husbands.

👌 Don’t have affairs with Presidents. You’d get drunk and end up with a dead president, and the next thing you know – you’ve got yourself a life sentence.

Have y’all read this book?

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42 thoughts on “My Mum is Mean

  1. Did I just read “we won´t get any husband for you”?…. That is kind of weird really, you let your parents pick out the person you´re going to marry? I´m confused. On the other hand, do marry a diplomat, hell you live like a pricess in different parts of the world plus you can raise all kinds of hell and your inmune under the laws of the country you are stationed at since you do have the diplomatic inmunity.

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      1. Man, that´s a bit middle age type of stuff. Well if you are over 18 you are an adult, you can do whatever you want with your life. I figured that out quite early that I was going to live MY life, not the life that my parents wanted.Plus to tell you the truth they never really had the expectations of me doing this or that, as long as I was independent, self sufficient and doing what I liked, for the most part they where happy. For the most part maybe is an overstatement but they got around to it.

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      2. From what I have gathered from the rest of my dear Indian followers, specially woman, the arrange marriage is the norm over there. Your culture so I should respect that, but in my opinion is a screwed up way to treat woman. As one Indian girl told me, and these were her words “most of us we are like slaves except we weare good clothes and eat in good restaurants”.
        And for what I gathered you are quite lucky since over there the middle class is not very prevailing, either you have a bunch of $$$$ or your down in the sewer, and certainly those on the top rarely meet those on the bottom. What I have gathered that is.

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      3. You have no idea. I don’t understand why “status” is so important. Like, my dad runs a hospital and we don’t have a retina specialist, so now both my parents are on the hunt for a good one to get me married off to, so I’m “comfortably settled”. And that girl is completely right. our own parents pimp us out.

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      4. As I told another of your fellow countrywomen, there is always choices and options in front of you. A very hard ones that´s for sure, in your cases is to cut and run and probably also cut all ties with family. So that is an option you have, taking it is a very serious and difficult thing I can understand that. But I do know woman specially in the US, Indian-Americans that have done so and have a good life and a new family. I don´t believe in the term family by those who are blood related, most of my blood related family are a bunch of ass holes which I do´t talk to, and very few people that you really can call Friends (the rest as in life are aquaintances) those people I do consider closer than my blood family for sure. So it´s up to the individual, me for example got into the army at age 19, didn´t speak to my parents for years, no family no nothing, alone I was. Now is different, but at the time I was much younger and felt nobody in the world could stop me, unless I got killed that is.

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      5. You could send me some sephora products for free, be a bit of a humanitarian thinking that way Charly the Priest will give to a nice lady, she will fall for it, spend a beautiful night with her and then get outta ther flying before she wakes up, it´s a win win situation. You feel humanitarian, she is satisfied as well as me….can´t think of a better idea 😉

        Liked by 1 person

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