The other day I was eating some very cheesy pizza for breakfast. And what does this woman do?
She just barges in, snatches the box from my hands, and throws it out the window right into our backyard.
“You’re getting too fat. We won’t get a nice boy for you!”
Next thing I hear is loud ripping noises, and I rush to the window to see three 🐷🐷🐷 feasting on my very cheesy, pineapple topped pizza.
I hate 2016 already.
In other news, I finished three books off the Johnny Reads 2016 Reading Challenge and I gotta talk about the James Patterson book I read.
Guilty Wives has a fast-paced plot, the heroine Abbie Elliot is totally badass and feisty, there are 143 chapters and it’s definitely taken some inspiration from James Bond (you can see a “BUT” coming and here it is…)
The pick up lines SUCK, the sex-scenes were UGH, and completely way too unnecessary – like who needs to know if a movie star has cotton boxers on? Not to mention, chest hair. Oh, the horror. I wouldn’t make out with a dude sporting the Amazon rainforest on his chestal area, just saying.
This book also taught me three valuable life lessons:
☝ Don’t marry any diplomats.
✌ Don’t cheat on husbands.
👌 Don’t have affairs with Presidents. You’d get drunk and end up with a dead president, and the next thing you know – you’ve got yourself a life sentence.
Have y’all read this book?