Disclaimer: Don’t take this post seriously, it’s only meant to make you laugh.
1. They don’t like food. Very VERY suspicious. I mean, who doesn’t like food? Maybe aliens. So, if your partner is way too picky about food – doesn’t like chocolate or pizza, that kind of thing – run.
2. They have time to reply to all the hobos on social media, but can’t stay online to text you for ten
minutes seconds. Self-explanatory.
3. They’re weirdly narcoleptic. They’re probably totally baked all week.
4. They don’t want to meet and they come up with the lamest excuses. Ranging from dead relatives to bad cell phone reception to being out of town or being BROKE.
5. THEY ARE BROKE ALL THE TIME. Sure, we all believe in going halvsies. But you make me pay for everything every damn time? I’m sorry, you gotta pack up and leave.
6. They have a problem with what you’re spending on. Uh, lipstick is life. I’m not asking you to get me any. It’s my money and it’s Valentine’s Day soon, and I need to spoil myself.
7. They NEVER buy you anything. Whoa. Crappy. Nobody wants you to spend a million. But, a candy bar once in a while, out of the blue, would be nice. Heard of “nice”?
8. They act mysterious, and half the time you don’t know where they at. Time to get a new partner.
9. They are rude to everyone. And they hate holidays. Uh oh. You’re next. Watch out.
10. They are never there for you. Now this bothers me. If you’re in a relationship, you’re not supposed to let your partner down all the time. Fly down to see them if you have to. Just be there. Or do the easy thing, walk away.
In other news, I’ve just finished reading Finding Audrey for John’s reading challenge. Oh my Gosh, y’all. This book is so funny!! Typical Sophie Kinsella funny. And then some.
I mean there are a gazillion and one books out there that talk about clinical depression, and panic attacks and other teenage issues but I haven’t read anything quite so… Touching. And funny. This book just reaches out to you. (Not to mention, the NAME Audrey. My favorite movie star of all time. AND my favorote lipstick!) Go grab it. If the other books from my reading challenge made me super sad, this one lifted my spirits right back up. Yay!