The other night I had a wedding to go to. And I wore red eyeshadow and skipped the sweater, because I wanted to be a stylish grandma.

It backfired. As it so happens.

The bride was my age and she dutifully said yes to the perfect match that her parebts picked out for her. I, on the other hand, very much single, on Dad’s arm instead of a husband’s, stuck out like a sore thumb. With my red eyeshadow (gotta remind you, again, and yes it’s waaaaaaaay out of my comfort zone) and sheer sari, I thought I looked okay.

Nuh uh.

God knows where this random Aunty materialized from and she seemed to know me very well. Well enough to say mean things like, “You’re too old to be wearing that! And too old to be single.” Pause. “And no wonder you haven’t snagged a man yet, looking the way you do. Red eyeshadow, for God’s sake! Ma Durga!

What. The. I can’t even.

So I told my best friend about it. He said I should have told her that she was so old her birth certificate didn’t exist anymore. And then smacked her on the face. Bwahahah. I wish.

Have y’all been attacked by random aunties? I need help.

Does this look gross?

29 thoughts on “Oooh, Burn!

  1. Not gross at all. Beautiful. And why does everyone care so much about getting married “young”. Is it enriching your life somehow? I guess I missed the boat. I sleep alone 5 nights out of the week and I love having full control of my household. :* (that’s an old school emoji kiss, I think)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your liner looks great, and your shadow and highlights compliment your eyes very well. ( I have learnt this from watching my wife.) As for your Auntie… Family has a tendency to be more cruel that friends. They know that over time they are still family. Friends however no that they can be replaced. If a family member cannot be polite, then we must be professional. You did the right thing by not lashing. Great job on stepping out of your comfort zone. 🙂


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