I love Kathleen Lights. She is, hands down, one of the nicest YouTubers, ever. She does these little ‘Kat Chats’ videos where she tells her viewers stories from her own life.
Today, she did Awkward Boy Stories. Which totally inspired me to talk about MY awkward boy stories, and mine make me squirm every time I think about what happened.
So, back in high school, I used to be really huge. Like enormously fat. I’m talking seventy-kilo-globe. And everyone was dating and snogging in empty classrooms and well, I was single-er than a lonely cactus smack in the middle of the Sahara. I felt stupidly lonely and emotional and come on, I was fifteen, and my hormones were scuttling around like headless chickens running a marathon.
And there was this dude.
He played the guitar.
He looked like a cross between Enrique Iglesias and Ricky Martin.
AND HE HAD FUCKING DIMPLES.
AND A GOATEE.
I think I died two million deaths.
My school would put up a show every year for the Annual Day thing, whatever the heck that was, and we had a play that year. Musical. We all had to sing. And this dude was there too, playing John Meyer on the guitar and flashing dimples. Every time we took a break. Insanely disturbing to watch. He’d come talk to me and we’d swap CDs and stuff. And I thought he liked me. Jesus H. Macy.
Anyway, so after the show got over, all the kids hung out for a while, backstage. And I don’t know why I did it, but I did. I bloody asked the dude out.
He didn’t say anything, choked on his juice, excused himself. Walked away. He was gone for two weeks! Nobody said anything though, because we had finals soon and attendance wasn’t really mandatory.
And I tried calling – he had his bitchy little sister answer. Oh god.
I couldn’t wait to get graduation over with. So embarrassing. Imagine asking someone out and being rejected! Yikes. Now that I think of it, it’s happened to me a lot. Though I never did ask any other dude out, this one guy ended things with me before they even began. Smart kid, that one. *smiles affectionately*
1. Pity dated a dude.
2. Gotten dumped over fried chicken – the dude left me there, holding the bill.
3. Broken up with a dude because he couldn’t keep his hands off my then best friend.
I guess dating and I don’t gel. Relationships, neither.
Do y’all have any awkward stories like mine?