So I’m on an all fruit diet. All I’m doing is fruit-fully eating all the junk food I can muster. But only on cheat days. Because you know, the body needs a break from all that fruit-fulness. Except that everyday is a cheat day.

I successfully lived on apples all through Monday. And then today someone brought over samosas to work. My eyes must have seen the mint chutney and  thought, “Hey look, MIMOSAS! Green food! Eat!”

And my diet went out the window. Dang, I miss being able to see my toes.


This isn’t the only diet I tried. I’ve gone through the GM, the Atkins, I’ve gone vegan. Nada. Them little adipose balls seem to looooove my waistline, y’all. I’m the proud owner of the cutest muffin top, ever, in all of history. Thank goodness for raw and unfiltered apple cider vinegar, though. The stuff actually works. I’d have been a blue whale with stomach rolls otherwise.

I need your help – please throw some EASY ON THE BELLY dieting tips my way? Pretty please, with whipped cream and cherries on top? *sticks face in cake*


24 thoughts on “On Dieting

  1. Green tea all the way, man. And in the morning, squeeze the juice of half a lemon (about 1 tbsp) into a glass of warm water and drink that. (The taste kinda grows on you after a while.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lol I am SO with you. I’ve never been able to successfully stick to a diet. I think they’re unnatural. I think we should all try to love ourselves unconditionally, regardless of weight, and try to find something that works for us with food and exercise–something that doesn’t feel so limiting but also not overindulgent. I haven’t found that yet for myself, and probably never will, and am definitely struggling with unconditional self-love, but am just trying to look at it as more of a journey than an endgame 🙂


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