It’s Holi the day after tomorrow. It’s basically this  festival where people play with colored powder and drop water balloons on each others’ heads.

Now, I’m secretly terrified of water. I might have been bitten by a rabid dog and never received treatment and gotten stuck with hydrophobia – I don’t know – and people attacking me with water terrifies me.

Of course my secret never stayed a secret when I went to med school.

During my first year at college, I had a scary arse lesbian roommate who’d have her girlfriend over and do unspeakable things. So basically, I spent a good six months practically homeless  (roomless) – and had no place to hide when Holi happened. And man, was it bad. 

Everyone kept acting like weird babbling barnacles and screaming and throwing EGGS at each other. I’d thought you were only supposed to play with water. And powder. But no. There were eggs in the picture.  Rotten, smelly, putrid eggs.

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I wouldn't have minded a few cute Easter eggs though.

My friends and I were the youngest and obviously you’re not allowed to say “No” when the seniors want you to play with them. That’s how all of us ended up getting beautifully egg-washed. I kid you not, the stench lasted for days. Have y’all ever had someone pelt eggs at your head? It’s the worst feeling. Comes only a close second to being puked on. (We’ll get to that story some other time.)

Happy Holi, folks!

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36 thoughts on ““Holi” Crap

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