Soooo, did anyone prank you yesterday? Someone did prank me. SOMETHING, to be precise. That something happened to be my new phone (that’s less than a month old) and it kept rebooting like cray. Which prompted my friend to tell me it had been possessed. Like that movie Pulse. Anyway. Apart from rebooting-like-cray phones, here’s a list of top ten things that freak me out:
1. Back pain. Every time I get one of those, I’m like Holy cow now I’ve got kidney stones.
2. Stomach cramps while on board a long flight. God forbid you ever get one of those. I’ve stopped eating anything prior to my long flights, thanks to cramps. You know when you’re into the medical profession, you tend to think you’ve gotten ulcer or something when cramps persist for so long. Mine have.
3. Missing uh, chums. I know I’ve got dude readers who freak out at the mention of the P words – period, pregnancy – but we’re all adults here. I’m a workout junkie and I sometimes go overboard with the diet and this causes me to miss my uh, chums. Though I know this is the only reason, I can’t help feeling I might have been impregnated by a Incubus.
4. Blood tests. AHMYGAWD. The tourniquet thing they put on my arm the last time looked germy as ever. And them needles. Aaaaaarrrrgghhh.
5. Sweaty palms. Oh this is the worst. I already have prominent eyeballs (Graves disease causes people to have that, you know, thyroid problems) and when I get the attack of the Sweaty Palm, I’m a stark raving hypochondriac.
6. Hairfall. Not gonna lie, this ish is scary. I get nightmares that alopecia struck my pretty head and left me with a shiny bald patch right in the middle of my scalp. When I wake up from those nightmares, I realize I’ve been sweating bullets.
7. Getting thirsty too often and making too many trips to the loo. Oh dear God. This is terrifying. Diabetes! No. No. Please no.
8. Craving too much salty junk. The other day I didn’t realize I was stuffing banana chips into my mouth without even thinking what I was doing. Because normally, I am this person that normally hates salty food and avoids both sugar and salt. And my mum gave me the eye like, Welcome to the club. You’re hypertensive now. Aaaaaack. Needless to say, I dropped the bag of chips as though it’d scalded me.
9. Swollen feet. Aah. Hello, nephrotic syndrome.
10. Saved the best for last. Falling sick constantly. Oh well. There goes my immune system.
Pic creds: Google.