Midnight. Check.

Me cosy under my duvet. Check.

Me dreaming of Edward Bess blushes. Check.

*PLOP*

TF WAS THAT?!

I’ll have you know I sleep with the nightstand lamp on. I’m scared of Dementors. Not that the lamp is gonna help, but still.

Anyway.

I opened my eyes. Very annoyed. It’s very rarely that I dream of blush. It’s mostly liquid lipstick. And then right there right in front of my nose, I spotted this.

image
...an ugly great lizard.

I swear this is the EXACT SAME expression the evil reptile gave me. Look how rapey he looks.

Of course I gave an almighty yell that shook the dust mites in an abandoned house in Ireland. Can you imagine being attacked by reptiles when you’re asleep and dreaming of heavenly things? Ugh. Of course I had to go take a bath and change the sheets and the duvet. By then the darling lizzy had escaped.

I don’t even know how he got in in the first place.

Last night he showed up again. People have stalkers and I have rapey lizzys following me. I was ready this time. Caught the bozo in a mason jar and tossed him out.

I hope he’s found a new person to stalk. Or at the very least, enjoying some sunshine. 

How’s your day looking, folks?

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33 thoughts on “The Time A Lizard Attacked Me

    1. I hope you aren’t talking about ‘this’ Amanda?! I’ve already avoided one rapey lizard (this happened in Thailand – scarred me for life) 😳

      Have mercy on me! *cries into pillow with one eye open* …the lizard might get me again!

      Liked by 1 person

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