I’ve always thought doctors were a bit shameless, you know, because of what we do. Like, prodding in unmentionable places and sticking bits of stainless steel up your ears. We can also discuss stuff that would normally make other people squirm. Nothing unfazes us. Mostly.
The reason why I say MOSTLY is that I’ve seen some weird patients.
The nose-digger that rolls up the booger into teensy balls and chucks them everywhere discreetly – only everyone sees them.
The heckler that tries to “bargain” when it comes to paying. (In smaller hospitals in India, you pay directly to the doctors. At least in West Bengal. And the doctors that have private practices.)
The whiner that comes every week with a new complaint and demands better medicine but won’t pay for it. And that keeps asking obvious questions all of which have one answer – “No.”
The complimentary dudes that come over because they happen to be someone-you-know’s someone-they-know and therefore, can’t ask them for money after you’ve given them a check up. Seriously. This is so bad for business.
The insufferable know-it-alls that make Hermione Granger look very un-Hermione-ish.
And so on.
Which brings me to the worst kind.
The BoobTMs. Or the proud owners of boob ATMs. If you’re an Indian living in India, I’m pretty sure you’ve spotted one of these. These women are usually middle aged and are more shameless than doctors. Ob-Gyns included. When it’s time for them to pay for the consult, they just stick their hand inside their ample cleavage and pull out the wallet. And pay you. And leave. Completely unabashed.
I came across a million. And I still haven’t gotten used to it.