Y’all are probably tired of reading my same rants. About the same thing. But I can’t help it! Sometimes my funny bone suffers from a frozen shoulder and can’t function, okay?
Okay. So my parents had a seven year long courtship before the tied the knot and had me (after which the courtship turned to battleship and it wasn’t pretty, but I’m digressing and I’m sorry so let’s get back to the point) and they’re very much in love, even today.
So I was watching my very patient Dad deal with my very impatient Mum for the umpteenth time and oh boy, you gotta hand it to him. He has TRUCKLOADS of patience. Actually, scratch that, yachtloads. Don’t care if that’s not even a word. And now I’m using double negatives, oh peachy! ANYWAY. It’s so sweet and blah blah they way they are together, you know? He handles her temper tantrums, she handles his quirks. He handles her God-awful Monday mornings. They both handle each others’ jackhammer-would-be-ashamed-snoring. I mean, wow. That’s love.
Which brings me to what I was trying to say.
I’d never be half as patient. Oh God no. I’d do this:
…and end up in jail. Oh no. What would I do without my Bum Bum cream!? I’d die. That’s one of the reasons why I won’t ever get married. A life in county prison with no makeup would kill me dead.
And you thought Kim Kardashian West was shallow. Wait are Kimye together, still?