I’m sure you’ve seen the movie Good Luck Chuck – and you probably remember the story pretty well. Chuck is some sort of good luck charm and if you date him (and do the nasty) you find the man of your dreams the next day. That was basically the story.
Remember the Goth chick that put a curse on Chuck? I think the same is happening to me and that my hideously ugly friend from middle school put a similar curse on me except that instead of finding true loves, my ex boyfriends and all finding amazing careers. Oh and yes, there’s no nasty involved. TMI, but y’all know me.
This is why I hate Facebook.
You get to know when your great aunt farted. You get to know when your ex ate a ham sandwich at a shady diner. You get to know which color bikini their crush wore to the beach. And all of the stuff you don’t need to know. Anyway, back to what I was saying.
Every dude I dated never had a career when I was with them and once it was over, BOOM, they’d all go abroad. Taking their epic promises with them. One dude I dated way back in 2008 tracked me down to gloat and tell me he was doing so well in New Zealand.
And now another dude is going there too. It’s like an ex boyfriend convention.
I need to take Valium and coffee and go inhale some donuts.