Ain’t it funny how no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to get rid of certain memories, they insist on staying right there in the back of your head because you can even put on a certain dress without going back to thinking, damn this dress and why did he pick it for me and then all the other thoughts come flooding back in right from the moment it all started to the very end where it turned into something bitter and putrid and you can’t even remember how and when it ever felt good, like why did I ever fall in love with someone that took over my whole life and why the heck can’t I move on, because you know full well there’s no future and things have always been doomed from the start and all you ever really wanted was one nice date, and that you weren’t an opportunist or a player or anything and how much you wished he’d understand your job and that one of you had to stay happy and life sucks balls so bad it’s like a slew of stab wounds that don’t heal and you wonder why you let your defences wear away and why did you get so fragile, and when and why you let someone else take control of you, because you were meant to be in the driver seat, not him, not his mother and not religion and why can’t you just sit in your happy corner and just live a bit, why?

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Fragile

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s