So you thought women talk in codes, right? Think again. Men talk in riddles way more – WAY MORE – than we women do.
Why do guys talk in codes?
This question has been mystifying me since ages. And I think Sheldon Cooper might have given me the answer – soy milk. It boosts estrogen levels and thereby makes you throw high pitched hissy fits that are typical of women. So if you notice your man throwing these fits, you need to know that he might be slowly turning into a woman. And that’s bad news because we can’t have two women in the house – there’s going to be war, with Donald Trump singing Closer in the background.
What are these “guy codes”?
You won’t even know you’ve been hit with extensive guy-ism till it hits you smack in the face. Here’s one classic example.
- Boooooooo (notice the extra ‘oooooooooo’s), I really like you sooooooo much. I want to cuddle, and snuggle and hold you forever.
Pause. At this point you get really excited. You’re basically sure this guy is so into you and maybe even wants to be with you forever, because he’s said the F word. And you tell him you like him and he says he likes you back. And everything seems so amazing and you have unicorns dancing in your head. BUT. Don’t get too happy because this comes next.
- But I’m not the guy for you. You can do so much better. You DESERVE so much better. It’s not me, it’s you. You’re precious and I have commitment issues.
Which roughly translates to:
How to know what he really means?
Give it time. Like HIV pathogens, guys have a window period too. You’d know that his brain is harvesting ideas and you need to wait. Like I said earlier, you need to look out for estrogen spikes. One hissy fit and you need to be out the door in one second. Also, DO not trust guys that use reverse psychology to get to you. It works on most women, and men know that.
If he’s not being honest about anything, and your crazy sharp women antennae are picking up on signs of dishonesty, you are probably right and it’s time to run.
And because it’s a terrible time to be in a relationship anyway. Everyone will try to bribe you, and hurt you, so NO. And I guess that’s it, I seem to have lost my funny bone to Trump’s hair.