If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while now, you’ll probably know that it’s been quite the rocky road. I used to write for an audience once, and then, somewhere along the way, this space became more of a journal than an actual blog. And I’ve had a lot of support from a ton of really nice people. It’s true, you know: people out there are actually nice. You don’t have to lose faith in humanity, just yet.
But I’m going to contradict myself for a second there.
I’ve seen a lot of messed up crap happen over the past year. And all of that had something do with social media. Plagiarism. Defamation. Lawsuits, even. We’ve all seen the rise of social media influencers, and we’ve all seen the so-called “drama channels” on YouTube gain a huge popularity quite out of the blue. People failed to give credit where credit was due. Still do, in fact. That’s a whole different story and it doesn’t really affect me directly anymore because I’m not an influencer or anything, and I’ve certainly never made any profit at the cost of hurting people, but it gets my goat because I have friends whose full-time jobs happen to be on social media and it’s really frustrating to see other people take credit for everything they do.
Also, there’s this other thing that makes me upset – fair-weather friends still exist. I mean, it’s almost 2019. Do you still have to pretend to be my best friend and then exclude me from your circle, because you couldn’t afford to let me in, while at the SAME time, you couldn’t afford to lose me since you needed to get your stuff done? I mean, you can actually find people you genuinely like. Or, maybe hire an assistant to be your yes-man. How hard is that?
Back to what I wanted to talk about – 2018 has been a really, really illuminating (for the lack of a better word) year for me. It’s like one morning I woke up, and I realized that I was actually at peace with myself. That’s super rare, you know? Nothing seems to faze me out for a long time anymore. It’s like sadness is only momentary and lasts for about a few seconds. These days, I’m more like okay, done and dusted, let’s move on. I remember my Dad telling me once that as you grow older and everything, professional jealousy becomes a thing and you lose friends faster than you lose hair. Turns out, he was right. The smaller your circle is, the healthier your mind would be. You don’t need other people’s luggage in your lives. You can have friends, sure, but when you add the prefix “close-” in front of the “friends”, that’s when trouble happens.
I feel like I’m finally at peace with myself. I barely have friends, and I’m happy with whatever is going on, and I’ve – most importantly – learned to forgive myself. It took me three whole years and a bumpy road to self discovery but here I am, finally free and happy. And that’s what matters the most to me. Sure, there are hiccups. Not everyday is going to be all roses and sunshine. Not everyone is going to be okay with what I’m doing, BUT I’m content and I don’t think I’ll be ranting about my life anymore. I don’t have FOMO. I have JOMO, yes. The Joy Of Missing Out is a new thing I’m trying and you should too. Don’t let other people tell you your life is miserable, and don’t let people throw you pity parties.
2019 will be Nirvana, done and done. Watch me.