The Bliss Point and Some Frills

I was watching this amazing video by Matthew Hussey the other day. He talked about something called the bliss point in the world of “food vocabulary”. He said that we never can have enough of things like Nutella, for example, because of the optimal amounts of salt and sugar in it. So no matter how much we eat it, we don’t feel satiated.

Mr. Hussey said that while texting a guy, every woman needs to know the bliss point and keep it optimum, and apparently that’s how you keep a guy interested.

Pretty sure that Mr. H forgot that Indian guys don’t work that way. They don’t understand optimal values. They don’t understand what a woman needs, and they think that no one is worth chasing after. How do I say this with so much confidence? My own mister man and I failed miserably while trying out this kind of texting. And just so we’re on the same page, this is a long-distance thing. And what exactly do LDRs survive on? Yep, you got that right.

Communication. Video calls. Phone calls. Whatever the shiz.

Okay, all sarcasm aside, I think the actual bliss point is meant to be complete lack of overthinking. When you’re all chill like Tim Chung despite the rumors that he may have fathered little Stormi Jenner, I think that’s when you know you’ve found your bliss point. Mr. Chung certainly seems to have.

Do you see what the Internet means? Aha.

In other news, POPxo suspended my account. And to be honest, I’m glad they did. Even though they said that I’d get it back, and I still haven’t; it’s nice to finally have some peace of mind. That place is riddled with negativity and I’m uncomfortable knowing that the makers of that app have my Aadhar card details, and not to mention, my older posts are still active. If I do get my account back, it goes straight into the bin. Which goes to show, they don’t even verify and women are 💯 jealous of other women.

Which brings me to the frills.

Did you know that Facebook is super unsafe? This person from POPxo found me on there and sent me a DM. THIS IS TERRIFYING, you guys. There’s no privacy anymore.

I’m losing my chill.

Maybe I should go breathe into a paper bag this Sunday. The whole day. What say? Ooh, and by the way, I had my AIIMS exams today. Which I bunked because I knew I wasn’t gonna get in. Tra la la.

This post was completely meaningless but I hope you smiled for at least three seconds. See you guys tomorrow!

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“We Don’t Talk Anymore”

Yes, it’s a smash hit. Yes it’s a Charlie Puth song (“Charlie Poof”, in Jade Thirlwall’s Geordie accent). No, I’m not talking about music today. Not today.

Even though it’s one heck of a beautiful chemistry, I have to say.

Moving on.

The commonest problem these days with many long-distance relationships would be “we don’t talk anymore”. So I did a bit of research, I asked a few people if they were actually doing okay with being miles away from the love of their lives and boy oh boy, did I find a few gems.

• People lose interest in their partners.

• People cheat on their partners.

• People fall out of love.

All of that leads me to believe, that no one really loves anymore. Everyone is just way too self-obsessed and way too busy and every sentence normally starts with an “I want or I need or I must” and there’s no we anymore. Here’s what your mama won’t tell you, specially if you’re a brown millennial:

Relationships take work.

It takes effort. It’s a relationship, not an untreated infection and it won’t grow on its own, unless you put in something. Women turn into nagging entities and men run away, and find solace in other things because mostly no one wants to be latched on to someone these days, unless that someone had something to offer. I’ll be honest, humans are selfish and there’s no such thing as “unconditional love”. Everyone has been lying to you. If you did love someone unconditionally, you wouldn’t be bragging about it. Nuh uh.

Then we have the cheating problem. It’s directly proportional to a few parameter. Your partner is obviously likely to cheat if –

• they feel ignored, or

• they feel under appreciated, or

• they’re bored with you, or

• they’re lonely, or

• they’re habitual whores.

It’s probably mostly just the whoring and good people get cheated on all the time. It’s so rampant it’s like diarrhea. Everyone faces backlash. Everyone gets affected. It’s not even a big deal anymore. You know what happens in a long-distance thing? One partner always loves less. The other ends up feeling unloved, unappreciated and lonely despite being in a solid relationship. I should be a life guru. What a revelation. Wow. Would anyone pay me to be a life guru, let me know?!

Which brings me to what I was talking about earlier.

You don’t talk to your partner anymore and there’s no communication, because you’ve run out of things to keep the conversation flowing. You know each other’s schedules so well, you’re okay with not talking to each other for days. You know when he says that he’s gonna call back, he won’t because that’s how it is. And at some point you stop feeling bad. It’s like a swollen painful bladder. It hurts at first and then it ruptures and poof, no more pain because the damage has been done but the pain is done too.

How to fix this?

You can’t talk.

You can’t text.

You’re scared of your partner because they are grumpy due to work stress and can’t love you at that point.

You’re lonely.

You don’t know what to do, right?

Go see them. Take a flight. Pop around at their workplace if you have to. Hold them tight.

Nothing would ever make you say we don’t talk anymore because trust me, it gets better once you see them, again, in person, and talk to them and it’s like self-healing. It forces your relationship back together again. Unless of course, you’re meeting to break up, in which case I recommend taking along body armor.

Have a good day, folks.

The Silent Treatment

You’re sitting over here, with the phone in your hand, as he leaves your texts on read.

You’re left wondering what you may have done this time, and you break your head.

You give in, and you call him up, and he disconnects the call, doesn’t call back.

And you lie there on the floor, worrying, always worrying, almost giving yourself a heart attack.

You almost call his mother, but you refrain, because you don’t wanna look needy.

You almost text his brother but you don’t because you don’t wanna look seedy.

You’ve given this relationship your all, expecting nothing just one call, and it never comes.

You’re left wondering if he’s even worth all that blood pounding hungrily against your eardrums.

If he’s even worth all the tears you’ve ever cried, all the pain you’ve had to hide.

If he’s even worth all the lies you’ve told yourself, you said you’re happy, you know you lied.

Because nothing kills a woman faster than the silent treatment, the cold, unyielding hush.

Nothing breaks her faster, so give her the cold shoulder should you wanna kill her in a rush.

Break up without a goodbye, give her no explanation as to why.

Leave her stranded, emotionally stripped naked, don’t bat an eyelid as she starts to cry.

Leave her wondering, assuming, overthinking, watch her descend rapidly into insanity.

While you, basking in your male-ego glory, wrap around yourself, even more snugly, the cloak of inhumanity.

The Sadistic Dad Monologues

“You’re crap.

No wait, you’re LOOSE crap.

You’re dumb.

You’re a waste of space.

You’re numb.

You’re flakier than breadcrumbs.

How long do I have to support you?

How long will you make me fend for you?

How long will I mend things for you?

Shut up and get to work.

Talking to you is so hard.

You never do what your mother and I want.

Talking to you is like talking to a corpse.

You’re just getting worse.

I wish you were never born.

I wish I could have killed you when you were young.

I wish I never spent a penny on you.

You’re just an investment gone wrong.

You’re brown trash and you only ever take and you take and you play your songs.

You’re filthy.

You’re vile.

You’re disgusting.

You’re as bitter as bile.

I wish you were dead.

And if you’re dying go kill yourself outside instead.”

This isn’t fiction. I’ve seen Dads treat their daughters this way. It’s bad enough to have dreams thrust upon a girl, and to have to deal with abuse isn’t something anyone has to go through. It’s a sin.

Everyday, I see kids with bruises, something their Dads gave them earlier – because the kid failed at math, or because the dad was drunk. Everyday I see a girl cry and have her dreams crushed because she has to live her parents’ dreams and doing something else would bring shame on the family. Marrying for love? Oh my. More shame.

When will this country change?

I’m thankful that it’s not the scene in every family, and that some of us have supportive parents but I wish these girls could live happy and not have to cry because they were born female. Having said that, I need to say I love you, Dad. Thanks for not being like this.

Just birthing a child doesn’t make you a Dad or a Mum. It just makes you a procreator. What makes you an actual parent is how human you act around your children. When you become a parent, please don’t be this way.

Good day, folks.

Things A 19 Year Old Taught Me

You know, sometimes you just meet people on the Internet and you take in their personality, and you think to yourself – “Bloody hell, what an amazing soul! Wish I was more like that!”

So I met Sabhyata, a design student, on Instagram, a couple months back. If you know me at all, you’d know that I never really talk about people unless I happen to admire/love/hate them in some way. And Sabhyata, she’s taught me a lot over the past couple of months. And I’m grateful. This post is by no means a promotion of ass-kissery (is that a word?) but a genuine appreciation for a beautiful person and something very different from all the ranting I normally do.

Today, I’m going to be raving.

So, who’s Sabhyata and why should you be following her on Instagram?

• She’s organized, in a different way.

Take this nineteen year old self-taught makeup lover, who posts crisp new content everyday, every single damn day. And that’s no mean feat because she’s got school, her chores, AND her feed to keep her busy and she manages everything so flawlessly it’s like she’s almost superhuman. She’s taught me how to manage my time better.

• She’s down to earth.

When you’re growing at the speed she’s growing, the attention gets to your head. The success gets to your head. Not for Sabhyata. I was watching her Instagram live and one thing she said touched my heart so much. Someone had asked her how it felt like, to have such a good number of followers in less than a year to which she replied – “Doesn’t matter whether I have 13 k or 100 k people following me, it’ll always be you guys watching me live at 2 in the morning, and I’ll still be like this.”

Again, this girl is only nineteen. Most teenagers don’t treat other people with the amount of love she does. And she doesn’t over do it either.

Also, she responds to every question. Doesn’t send a ♥️ emoji when someone slides into her DM with legit compliments and questions, and she’s always going to take time to hold an actual decent conversation with people.

She’s taught me to have my feet planted firmly on the ground.

• Friendship.

I talked about competition the other day. Sabhyata is her own competition, biggest critic and she’s everyone’s friend. One of my favorite one liners – “You’re my friend and I won’t ever respect you. Ahah. Why would I? We’re the same. And even if you get a Nobel prize, I’ll still have you as my friend who I’ll love. Not go on and say ah I respect you.”

Total gem, you guys. Total gem.

• Quality over Quantity.

Let’s talk about how professional she is. She learns as she grows and she posts content that’s super high quality too. I guess this is where blessing your feed originated from.

If you’re into makeup and you want to know why I’ve been fangirling so much go give her a follow @palletesandpaint on Instagram.

Can We Chill With The Competition?

What’s wrong with people? I mean seriously? Kris Jenner is single handedly causing population explosion, and with a million kids and a billion grandkids to boot, the crazy seems to be overflowing.

It’s not just them, though. It’s the whole planet.

Once upon a happier time, competition meant two little kids battling it out on opposing debate teams. But now? It’s something unhealthy, twisted, heck, it’s evil.

Between making frenzied google searches for things like “how to make someone love you back” and “how to tell if someone’s no longer into you” and “latest trends 2018”, I chanced upon this: nipple injections. Fillers, or whatever the crap. And I’m not kidding people, this is an actual Allure magazine article.

…competing against Kendall Jenner’s nipples. Now I’ve seen everything. Really. 2018 is the year of the bat-shit crazy and it’s here to stay. Sigh. I miss the times when we were all actually happy. Millennials aren’t happy, people. We always want something else. We crave, we crave, we compete unnecessarily and we give ourselves enough aneurysms to keep the rest of the doctors happy.

Between DMs that go something like this

to women treating their boyfriends like pieces of vintage Louis Vuitton luggage, I’m so done. All I want right now, is for me to be able to dump everything and just get away to a cosy little place with no people and no cell phone reception.

Can we please do that? Thanks.

Nipple fillers. God!

Does Money Solve Things?

Isn’t it crazy? The number of times we use “I” in a day? Subconsciously, we’re only constantly thinking of ourselves. Our lives, jobs, waistline, first-world issues like a broken fingernail.

Ever stopped to wonder what was going on with the rest of the world? Heck, ever wondered what was going on with the rest of your neighborhood? I’ve noticed a pattern. People are SO quick to be empathetic when a celebrity falls sick. Or when a celebrity gets slapped behind bars. I’m talking about Salman Khan, of course. He’s killed people and he’s poached blackbucks and he’s managed to get acquitted and now he’s managed to get bail.

Which makes me wonder – is money all that powerful?

At this rate, people would end up buying college degrees and have no knowledge about a thing at all. People would pay off income tax officers and exemptions from paying how much tax they should actually be paying. It’s scary that things like unfair justice can be bought these days. Oh wait, they’re already doing that. I mean, do people not have integrity anymore?

Maybe that’s why there’s a steep decline in actual, solid relationships and a steady incline in the sugar daddy situation. He pays for your crap and makes you Paris Hilton and you get to be the Kim Kardashian to his very much older Ray J. I don’t even know what’s up with me this morning. Maybe this is why I should stop reading the newspaper. It’s making kids believe that money can solve every which problem and that’s why they’re resorting to stupid headless ideas just to make money.

I saw this girl ask if she can sell her body to her ex boyfriend for allowance since her parents don’t give her money. Is this even normal? Or is this prostitution? Can anyone explain? Do people not realize that the more you yearn for, the worse it gets? Other people get jealous, and it leads to more problems than one can ever handle. I don’t think money really solves all problems. It just makes you nastier. But that’s just my opinion. It’s okay to be financially comfortable on your own terms. NOT okay to use it to exploit others.

I’m done with this country. Time to leave. I’ll be back with a nice post tomorrow, I swear. It won’t be so morbid. Have a good day, you guys.